NXT 640

September 14, 2021 – Orlando, Florida

Oh my god, they’re actually calling it NXT 2.0 officially. I’d rant about it here, but I already did that on Twitter. As a marketing professional, I can tell you it’s the equivalent of calling it NXT 2000. It’s really outdated and makes WWE seem really out of touch. But being out of touch is on brand for them. That said, the arena looks WAY better than it ever has. It’s lit up brightly and just feels fresh. It kind of reminds me of the Wrestling Society X set, but, you know, not awful. 

Bron Breakker def. LA Knight
All of the contenders in the title match cut promos to start the show, and Breakker (Rick Steiner’s son, bafflingly not named Rex Steiner) rolled up on Knight during his and did a slightly more subdued Mojo Rawley shtick to set this up. Breakker basically squashes Knight here, suplexing him around the ring, wrestling a lot like his dad, and gettin the win at 3:41 with a press powerslam. Really hoping Knight doesn’t win the main event now. Breakker celebrates in the back with all the muscle clods that are about to invade the show. *½ 

Marcel Barthel & Fabian Aichner def. Josh Briggs & Brooks Jensen
Briggs & Jensen have a tag team entrance video, so look for them to be tag champs by October. Jensen is Bull Buchanan’s son. This was pretty solid, despite Briggs being involved. Jensen moves around the ring pretty well. And Imperium are also good, duh. I’m very surprised Imperium won. I thought this whole show was going to be the new crop steamrolling the fellas we’re used to. Aichner caught Jensen with a pop up superplex for the win at 3:56. **¼ 

B-Fab def. Katrina Cortez
B-Fab won in 1:19 with the Rude Awakening. This was too short (and Cortez was seemingly completely lost) to get a sense for if B-Fab is any good. After the match, Legado del Fantasma comes out. Is Elektra Lopez trembling? Her hat looks like it’s vibrating. The dueling promos end awkwardly without a resolution. N/A

Dexter Lumis’s groomsmen welcome a returning Austin Theory to the party. They’re all wearing match Lumis gloves. Damian Priest joins as well because a wedding needs a priest. Theory is disappointed to learn that, but happy to reunite with Johnny Gargano. 

Carmelo Hayes comes out to introduce us to Trick Williams, his bodyguard. He has a target on his back because of the guaranteed title shot he has, you see. Williams cuts a promo that sounds like he’s turning on Hayes, but it’s actually his way of encouraging Hayes? This was lost on me, which might be because I’m too old, but is probably because it was nonsense. Duke Hudson comes out for a match and antagonizes Hayes and Williams. Williams Hudson with a spinning big boot, and then he and Hayes stomp Hudson down. Alright so I guess the idea is that Williams is going to make Hayes have a harder edge. That’s not nonsense. I resolve to wait for a segment to end before I judge it. 

Kacy Catanzaro & Kayden Carter def. Gigi Dolin & Jayden James
As the match is happening, Pete Dunne & Ridge Holland beat up Kyle O’Reilly in the locker room until Von Wagner ran in to help. This match lasted 1:53 before now-brunette Mandy Rose interfered and caused a disqualification. Sarray ran out to make the save and turn this into a six-woman tag. N/A

Mandy Rose, Gigi Dolin & Jayden James def. Sarray, Kacy Catanzaro & Kayden Carter
This is joined in progress. This was surprisingly spirited and fun. Rose was way more game than I’ve ever seen her be before. It was hard to track who the legal woman was near the end, but that chaos got the crowd all fired up. Rose hit Carter with a running knee for the win at 6:34 (shown). ***

William Regal announces that O’Reilly is out of the main event. He replaces him with Von Wagner as a reward for saving O’Reilly from further injury. He’s Beau Beverly’s son, you know. And I may be wrong but I think he’s the first person to debut in NXT in an NXT Championship match. 

Ridge Holland def. Drake Maverick
Holland squashes Maverick and hits the Northern Grit for the win at 2:49. Grayson Waller checks on Maverick after the match. ½*

A businessman from Chicago who is also an All American Greco-Roman wrestler named Tony D’Angelo is coming to NXT. I’m sure he’s actually from Chicago, but his accent sounds like he’s trying to be Tony Soprano. I suppose that’s also what every Al Capone impression sounds like, so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Anyway, he’s Joe Ariola if you’re interested in looking up info about his amateur career. 

Julius Creed & Brutus Creed def. Dan Jarmon & Trevor Kelly
Diamond Mine is rolling with Emily Andzulis now. That’s neat. The Creeds dominate again. The big one hits Jarmon with the sliding lariat for the win at 2:52. Malcolm Bivens reveals that Andzulis is now called Ivy Nile. It’s nice for Bivens that someone in the group is shorter than him now. Kushida comes out and says that Roderick Strong can have his title shot next week. N/A

Tommaso Ciampa def. Pete Dunne, Von Wagner, and LA Knight {NXT Championship Fatal Four Way Match}
Not only did Knight get squashed tonight, his entrance for this match was hidden behind a commercial break. I didn’t know that Knight’s BFT finisher stood for Blunt Force Trauma until just now. I’d heard Kevin Dunn would be producing this episode, and in this match that became very obvious. That guy needs to take a Benadryl or something. Crazy cuts aside, this was a fun little bop. Wagner was way more impressive than I expected him to be, but before I get ahead of myself I need to recognize that he probably had a grand total of two minutes in the ring here. Last week, I called the result of this match. But to be honest, after Samoa Joe vacated the title on social media the other day and after learning that O’Reilly was not going to be in the match, I’d shuffled Ciampa to the bottom of the list prediction-wise. I’ll be curious to see where it goes from here. Ciampa hit Knight with the Fairytale Ending for the win at 8:06 (shown of 10:39). ***½ 

The main event is Indi Hartwell & Dexter Lumis’s wedding. The Grizzled Young Veterans are ushers. The bridal party is the same folks that were at the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Gargano walks Hartwell down the aisle. The babyface roster attends in the ring. Ikemen Jiro’s jacket is citrus themed, and he saves Theory by coming through and holding the wedding rings. Apparently he and Theory are friends. A lot of people object to the union, but they stop when Lumis flashes his concealed hatchet. The officiant shames Lumis for not audibly giving any vows, so Lumis chokes him out with the White Noise. Beth Phoenix takes his place. Andre Chase tries to steal the spotlight, so Odyssey Jones nerve pinches him. Lumis finally speaks when he says “I do.” Is this the first wrestling wedding to go off without a hitch? I’d call it boring, but they did pay off Lumis never having spoken. It was cute and inoffensive, I guess. In the back, Breakker catches Ciampa watching the wedding from a TV screen. They stare and breathe hard at each other.  

This new NXT is indeed a lot more like original-recipe rebooted NXT, with a lot of squashes and guys with very little experience. On the bright side, they all seem very motivated and all have athletic backgrounds that it seems will serve them well. This is what you call a rebuilding phase, and I have no idea if it’s going to work out well.