NXT 645

October 19, 2021 – Orlando, Florida

Sorry this is late, I’m really uninterested in this show. But I’ve committed to doing this and the next episode before quitting, so I’m doing it! It’s funny that on Peacock the show is still called NXT without the 2.0. They’re not even consistent in their bad branding. 

Carmelo Hayes and Trick Williams start the show with a chat in the ring. Hayes calls himself the leader of the new school. Not sure how that’s going to work when Bron Breakker becomes NXT Champion on the next episode. Either way they should clearly do a new generation vs. old generation WarJames in September. Johnny Gargano comes out to congratulate the new North American champ. Also, he wants a title shot now that he’s not distracted with the Way and his wife is on pregnancy leave. Hayes and Williams make comments about hitting on Indi Hartwell, who (in the last thing I find amusing on this show) is referred to as Gargano’s daughter. Gargano’s “son-in-law” Dexter Lumis comes out to choke out these fellas who have spoken about his wife. 

Odyssey Jones def. Andre Chase
This was a total squash for Jones, which is the right booking decision but makes me wonder why we bothered with weeks of vignettes for Chase. If he’s a joke, why does he get so much TV time? Jones hit a big splash for the win at 2:57. N/A

Marcel Barthel & Fabian Aichner def. Julius Creed & Brutus Creed
This match was very entertaining, so of course it only lasted a few minutes before interference caused a distraction that led to a cheap finish. In this case, Ikemen Jiro & Kushida attacked Diamond Mine, distracting the Creeds and leading to Barthel getting a roll up for the win at 5:36. MSK attacks Imperium after the match. **½ 

Kyle O’Reilly thought he and Von Wagner were going to go on a bike ride together, but Wagner changed the plan without telling O’Reilly. The whole angle is about trust, but Wagner is robbing O’Reilly of weekend bike rides?! I’d hate him forever. Instead, they work out in the woods and then drink beer. If I’m O’Reilly, I’m dead inside. But then, I don’t like to assume people I don’t know are feeling. Remember when it seemed like he’d be NXT Champ and there were people who cared? Woof. Then, Cora Jade skateboards a little. Then, Joe Gacy visits Harlan in prison? Why is he in jail? And if he’s not in jail, why are they talking to each other from opposite sides of a glass pane? 

Cora Jade def. Elektra Lopez
The match only goes 1:51 and is unimportant. What was important was that before it, Escobar said he wanted the title from Hayes. That probably wasn’t important either, frankly, but I don’t have anything else to say about this match except to tell you that Jade got a small package for the win, despite Lopez’s shoulders clearly being off the mat. N/A

Bron Breakker tries to get meta with the can they coexist trope by saying that he thinks Tommaso Ciampa will hit him in the main event so he gets pinned, but they say he didn’t mean it. But even if Breakker got pinned, Ciampa would still lose. This show is the absolute dirt worst. 

Io Shirai def. Jacy Jayne and Persia Pirotta {Triple Threat Match}
This was to decide who would Spin the Wheel and Make the Deal regarding the tag title match next week. Of course, that’s not a prize because it’s still a game of chance so it’s irrelevant who spins. Two minutes into the match, Jayne’s feet catch on the ropes and she goes face first to the floor. It’s not as bad of a bump as I was expecting given what the internet said about it, but I can’t imagine it felt great. They go to commercial and when they come back, Jayne is no longer in the match. After that, Shirai and Pirotta had a totally competent match, Shirai hit a moonsault for the win at 7:49 (shown of 11:22). After the match, Shirai spins the wheel and it lands on Stairway to Hell Ladder Match. *¾ 

In the back, Legado del Fantasma beat up Trey Baxter (probably, you can’t really see him and the commentators offer no clarity) because of Jade’s win over Lopez. Jade doesn’t seem that upset about it. Josh Briggs & Brooks Jensen make the save. No relationship between Baxter and the hick tag team or the hick tag team and Legado has ever been established before now. 

Jiro sneaks up on Kushida in the bathroom. Kushida is a better sport about it than I would be. Kushida wants some Style Strong gear, but Jiro convinces him that his Back to the Future gear is better for him. So, there’s no development. 

Tony D’Angelo def. Ru Feng
Feng is Asian, so he gets squashed in under two minutes. D’Angelo hits the spinning fisherman suplex for the win at 1:44. After the match, D’Angelo is asked about the disappearance of Lash Legend’s producer. And despite the fact that we’ve seen on Television that he’s in the trunk of D’Angelo’s car, there’s no issue and the legal system doesn’t exist. Whatever who cares, this is too stupid to even feel like it’s trying to dumb me down. I’m so excited to not watch this show anymore. N/A

Duke Hudson wants to be called the House because he beats everyone at poker. That is still the only characteristic of his gimmick. 

Joaquin Wilde & Raul Mendoza def. Josh Briggs & Brooks Jensen
Legado attacked their opponents with chairs before the match. The match is joined in progress after a commercial break. Stuff happens and then Escobar distracts Briggs so that his boys can hit Jensen with their double team move for the win at 5:15 (shown). I’d love anyone still defending this show to bet me that this angle goes anywhere. I won’t be around to see it but I feel confident there’s no resolution to whatever this is meant to be. I’m going to be honest regarding my rating: I got distracted by a Tiktok of someone carving a pumpkin into a bagged wine dispenser so I didn’t clock the whole thing. That’s my interest level at this point. *½ 

Someone digs a grave, and that same someone is debuting next week. I’ve seen a lot of people say it’s Elias but it looks like a woman. Then, Hayes learns that Gargano & Lumis have taken his title belt to a haunted house. So they’ll do some kind of cinematic thing next week, a la Lumis’s match at the same show the year before. 

LA Knight def. Grayson Waller
This is to decide who will host Halloween Havoc, and honor that means you aren’t good enough to get booked in a match. Knight hits the BFT for the win at 2:43. That should have been three times as long a match, as these two are actually capable of telling interesting stories in the ring. **

Imperium will fight MSK for the men’s titles in another Spin the Wheel match. Tune in next week to learn the stips for that and the Women’s Championship match. It might just be two more ladder matches! It’ll be a street fight and a lumberjack match. Solo Sikoa will debut too. But he’s not the person digging the grave. Well, they don’t say he’s not, but we can assume. 

Tommaso Ciampa & Bron Breakker def. Zack Gibson & James Drake
Ciampa is still fun in the ring, but this amounted to nothing more than making the Grizzled Young Veterans a prop in an underbaked feud between two guys who don’t seem to dislike each other at all. Can they coexist? Sure, why not? There’s nothing on the line so there’s no pressure to crack under. Breakker hit Drake with the press powerslam for the win at 8:27 (shown of 10:58). **¼