NXT 644

October 12, 2021 – Orlando, Florida

Legado del Fantasma kidnaps all of Hit Row at the top of the show so that Isaiah Scott will have to go it alone in the main event. Eh, at least there’s precedent for that, even if nobody ever calling the cops over this stuff is absurd. 

Tommaso Ciampa def. Joe Gacy
Had Gacy won, he’d get added to the title match at Halloween Havoc. Gacy is now calling his supporters his snowflakes. I can tolerate a lot of unfunny comedy when it comes to wrestling, but this is so heavy handed you’d think it had an inflammatory issue. This was as much getting Harland some TV time (sitting in the crowd) as it was about Gacy having a match. Given that, I’m glad that the match was little more than Ciampa teaching Gacy a lesson. He’s the champ and shouldn’t be giving up too much to an ill-conceived comedy gimmick. Ciampa shrugged off or avoided most of Gacy’s offense, and hit the Fairytale Ending for the win at 7:13 (shown). After the match, Harland attacks Ciampa. He grabs Gacy by the throat, but Gacy caresses his face and he runs away. Wow, dumb. **¾ 

Toxic Attraction comes to the ring to challenge for all the women’s titles at Halloween Havoc. The promo is real boring. There’s nothing special about these three. Also, someone with a shovel will appear at Halloween Havoc. Raquel Gonzalez accepts the challenge on the condition that they bring back Spin the Wheel, Make a Deal. 

Xyon Quinn def. Malik Blade
Blade is pretty good, so of course they’re pushing Quinn. I’m not even saying Quinn is bad, but he’s just doing the Roman Reigns gimmick and using one of Reigns’s finishers, so what’s the point? Quinn hits a leaping forearm for the win at 2:47 (shown). ¾*

The Grizzled Young Veterans rip on Ciampa backstage, telling him he’s going to lose the title to a rookie. Bron Breakker comes to his aid because he wants Ciampa at his best in two weeks. This sets up a tag match for next week with no stakes so who cares. I mean the match will be good but it matters zero percent who wins. 

Ivy Nile def. Valentina Feroz
This was just the littlest bit clunky, which isn’t great in a 2-minute match. Nile did the Ronda Rousey roll into a Torture Rack for the submission victory at 2:43. After the match, Ikemen Jiro interrupts a Diamond Mine promo. It’s not clear why. Maybe because he and Kushida are friends? I vaguely remember him saying he respected Kushida a few weeks ago, but nobody seems to have an explanation now. He hits Julius Creed so they have a match. N/A

Julius Creed def. Ikemen Jiro
The match is joined in progress. Vic Joseph suggests that Jiro was staking a claim to the Cruiserweight Championship. Okay, at least that’s something. Too bad he immediately jobs hard here. Jiro gets a fun dive in, but the match is mostly Creed doing suplexes. And that’s fine, but why have Creed do singles stuff at all right now? He hits the sliding lariat for the win at 3:30. Kushida tries to save Jiro from a post-match beating, but he fails. **

Lashing Out this week sees Lash Legend talk about Hit Row. Well, she mentions them but doesn’t actually say anything about them. Then, she tells Tony D’Angelo to come on her show. Later, we see that D’Angelo has kidnapped Legend’s booking agent. Who is this for?!

Von Wagner & Kyle O’Reilly def. Ridge Holland & Pete Dunne
They more or less acknowledged that this was Holland’s NXT swan song as his move to Smackdown is imminent. This was a totally fine tag team match that was meant to establish that O’Reilly can trust Wagner. And okay, but O’Reilly & Wagner don’t exactly make for a compelling tag team, so what’s the point? And what is Dunne going to do now that Holland is gone? I’m much more interested in the latter question. Wagner hit Holland with a twisting double underhook slam thing for the win at 9:12 (shown). ***

Andre Chase University is a thing again. He’s still targeting Odyssey Jones. He says the F-word a lot but it’s censored so who cares?  

Duke Hudson def. Grayson Waller
Did you know both of these guys are from Australia? And one is a poker dealer and one is a boxer? And neither of those things is relevant to their ring work? I actually like both of these guys a lot but they’re not being given a lot to work with. Hudson springs Waller off of the ropes and rolls him up for the win at 2:38. That finish sucked, but what little of a match there was was fine. *¾ 

Imperium calls MSK’s tag title reign a shonda. I know they’re speaking German, but my Yiddish-speaking (the languages are very similar) grandma would say that about my behavior all the time when I was growing up. Ahhh, nostalgia. 

Portia Pirotta & Indi Hartwell def. Sarray & Amari Miller
I’d love to know how Sarray is feeling about her decision to come to the United States for this job. Maybe she’s happy, but I’d give a lot to know for sure. Miller and Pirotta both look like they’re not sure what their arms should be doing. Sarray gets to do next to nothing here, and Miller gets to job to Hartwell’s springboard elbowdrop at 2:26. On the basis of this win over a team of two jobbers who had never teamed before, Hartwell & Pirotta demand a title shot. The champs come out and cut a cheesy promo, but they’re interrupted by Toxic Attraction. Everyone fights and a triple threat match is set for Halloween Havoc. I predict that the match is going to be rough. ¾*

Cameron Grimes approaches Waller backstage. Waller gets ladies despite losing matches. Waller says the quiet part out loud, “It’s not about wins and losses.” Yeah, no kidding. He says it’s about likes and swipes when it comes to girls. Somehow, Grimes is meant to have known about Reddit stock trading but not about dating apps. Wallter tells him to clean up his look and get on Bumble. Well, not Bumble specifically, but I’m losing money on Bumble stock so I figured I’d mention it by name here. Then, we get a Solo Sikoa video. He’s the Uso’s little brother. I have a feeling he’ll be teaming with Quinn in no time. 

Isaiah Scott def. Santos Escobar {NXT North American Championship Match}
I could be wrong, but I think this is the first time that the main event of this show included only Lucha Underground alumni. They have a good match, though not one that I’ll remember in a few days. With Hit Row kidnapped, it’s up to Carmelo Hayes and Trick Williams to save Scott from Legado del Fantasma’s interference. Why? We’ll find out later. Scott hits Escobar with the JML Driver for the win moments later at 8:47 (shown). ***

Carmelo Hayes def. Isaiah Scott {NXT North American Championship Match}
The Breakout Tournament contract is now operating under the same rules as the Money in the Bank contract, which wasn’t the case the first time around. This concept is a cancer that infects every corner of wrestling. Whatever, NXT basically died with this reboot, why not let this terrible thing happen too. I’m not mad about Hayes having a title, I just hate the anytime anywhere nonsense. It was bad in the first place and now it’s bad AND it’s brutally played out. The way it plays out here is also dumb as hell. Hayes lays out Scott and signs the contract to start the match. Okay, I’ll give them that the folder he carries around has contracts in it for each title. But then wouldn’t Scott have to sign also? But Brad, you say, all the current champions probably had to sign already. That’s an interesting idea, hypothetical reader, and would have been interesting had they shown the champions doing that on television after Hayes won the tournament. But they did not, so this still sucks. And the match kinda sucks, short as it is. Hayes hits a springboard move for two, and then acts surprised and lets Scott recover rather than capitalize. The whole point of this was that you had Scott at a disadvantage, so keep him at a disadvantage. Of course, it doesn’t matter because nothing matters and moments later Hayes hits a diving axe kick for the win and the title at 1:12. ½*

This show had nine matches this week. Raw also had nine matches this week. Raw also is an hour longer than this show. Hey, fuck this show. I’ll watch up until Halloween Havoc and decide then if I’m going to keep watching. If the big show is a disaster, I’m out.