NXT 403

July 26, 2017 – Winter Park, Florida

Ember Moon def. Lei’D Tapa
Tapa gets an entrance but not even the generic font video with her name. Why bother with the entrance? I guess she’s the Barbarian’s niece. The commenters call her a mixed martial artist, but to call her that is to call CM Punk that, which is to say she had two pro fights and lost them both. She loses here too, shock of shocks, and then is never seen again. Oh, and this gets a 10 on the Contrived Eclipse Scale, as Tapa had to walk from one side of the ring to the other and stand still to be in position for it. I hate that move so much. Later in the show, William Regal gives Moon a title match against Asuka at Takeover. N/A

Akam & Rezar nc. David Ramos & Timothy Bumpers
SAnitY takes out Ramos and Bumpers, so the match never happens. The Authors of Pain brawl with Alexander Wolfe and Killian Dain. The tag champs come out on top. That’s a weird way to get new challengers over as a threat.

In recapping the Andrade Cien Almas vs. No Way Jose feud, Mauro Ranallo won’t speak in past progressive to talk about past events. He must be the guy editing every wrestler’s Wikipedia page to make them sound like they were written by someone who doesn’t read. I beg all wrestling writers and commentators to stop writing and speaking this way; it makes you sound incredibly stupid.

Velveteen Dream def. Cezar Bononi
I don’t review squashes. N/A

Drew McIntyre comes out to talk about his journey to a title match at NXT. He knows he rested on his laurels during his first WWE run. When he left, he resolved to get better, which he did. Now he’s in NXT to win the title, and he and the fans all walk together. But Bobby Roode thinks he’s above all that, so McIntyre is going to teach him that he’s not.

Kassius Ohno def. Hideo Itami
Hey, a real match! Ohno requested that he fight Itami to nip their issue in the bud before it got any more out of hand. But things do get out of hand, because after a decent enough match, Itami kicks Ohno in his nuts and gets disqualified. Then he kicks the crap out of Ohno, hits the Go2Sleep, and drops Ohno’s face on the steps. The commentators say that Itami has suddenly snapped, but they’ve been building to this for a month. The post-match biz was more effective than the match. **½

Alright, that episode kinda sucked, so now I bring you a little bonus content: a UK title defense from your favorite Bruiserweight. This one comes from Insane Championship Wrestling, and you can watch it on their YouTube channel here.

July 29, 2017 – Glasgow, Scotland

Pete Dunne def. Trent Seven, BT Gunn & Wolfgang {WWE United Kingdom Championship Fatal Four Way Match}
The hometown Scots (Gunn and Wolfgang) basically team up against the British Strong Style team to start. Not long into the match Dunne turns on Seven with a low blow and a Pedigree (they’d been impersonating Triple H earlier on). The rest of the match was an insane spotfest filled with creative maneuvers and sequences that I’ve never seen before. There are two reasons why this indy-rific match worked and the last bonus UK title match didn’t.

  1. The crowd was actually invested in seeing their man Gunn win, and even though they almost definitely knew he wouldn’t, they cheered like crazy for him anyway and helped create a very dramatic atmosphere.
  2. Having four guys in the match allowed them time to sell (and rest) after taking big punishment.

There was some frustrating no-selling, but at least in the case of this match it was usually (though not always) part of a logical sequence. If you want to see what WWE wrestlers are doing when not constrained by WWE rules in a match that actually works then this is a good match to watch. For example, Seven it a goddamn second rope piledriver, but at least in this match when Wolfgang kicked out at 2, he was a non-factor for the rest of the match. ****