WWE ECW 33

January 23, 2007 – Mobile, Alabama

Rob Van Dam def. Kevin Thorn, Sandman, Sabu, and Tommy Dreamer {Battle Royal}
They wasted very little time getting rid of the ECW originals so that it was essentially an RVD vs. Thorn match. From there this was passable, though none of these guys were slated to play a significant role in the Royal RUmble so there wasn’t much of a point to it. **

Marcus Cor Von def. Wes Adams
Nice spelling change for Von. This was a boring squash. N/A

Hardcore Holly is mad that Test got the main event changed (it was originally supposed to be Bobby Lashley vs. Holly). Now Test will face Lashley, though he doesn’t seem to understand why Holly is mad.

Kelly Kelly comes out with Brooke and Layla, collectively known as Extreme Expose. They dance in bikinis. Nobody interrupts. Nitro Girls redux in 2007. Snooze.

CM Punk def. Elijah Burke
Matt Striker is on commentary here, saying depraved when he means deprived, tarnishing his crap gimmick. Tazz and Joey Styles aren’t much better, which is wild because you’d hope they could distract from the ten minutes of chinlocks that filled this match. Nope, everything was bad. *¾

Bobby Lashley def. Test
Test is fighting for the title at the upcoming PPV, so naturally doing the match here and jobbing the challenger is the smart way to go. What in the butt is happening here? The commentators hint that Test somehow (but how?) got the main event changed here so he could soften up the champion ahead of the PPV, but it would have been smarte to just let Holly do that work and for Test to take the night off. The match had a good energy, but the booking decision is absolutely baffling. Tazz grasping at straws to make the match on Sunday seem like it should still happen is embarrassing to listen to.**½

And now we check in with that title match at the Royal Rumble.

January 28, 2007 – San Antonio, Texas

Bobby Lashley def. Test {ECW Championship Match}
It occurs to me that they never said on TV how Test earned this title shot, so all we really saw was him losing clean to the champion and then getting this opportunity here. No wonder nobody cared about ECW. Test walks out on the crappy match because I guess he was as bored as I was, and loses by count out. Then Lashley brings Test back into the ring and hits one of his finishers anyway, so that non-finish was pointless. He’s now 0-3 against the champion in January, but that wouldn’t stop them from giving him another title shot. *¾