WWE ECW 32

January 16, 2007 – North Little Rock, Arkansas

Kelly Kelly comes out to start the show. She’s ready to dance for everyone again, and next week she’ll be dancing with friends. She wants to give everyone a preview but Matt Striker interrupts. Remember when Mike Knox attacked Kelly and a few weeks later everyone forgot about it without Knox getting any comeuppance? Anyway, Striker cuts a rambling misogynistic promo that leads to CM Punk coming out for a match.

CM Punk def. Matt Striker
At over ten minutes this was very long for a non-main event on ECW. Sadly, it just died when Striker was in control. Kelly flashed Striker to distract him, leading to Punk getting a backslide for the win. So Punk went from losing without issue to Holly one week to taking forever to beat goofy Striker and needing help from Kelly to do it. Yeesh. This was a bore. *½

Marquis Cor Von def. Cassidy Riley
This was Von’s debut. Riley is some OVW dweeb. This was just a squash. The countdown to the end of Von’s career begins here. N/A

Elijah Burke def. Sandman
This thing lasted about a minute and ended when Burke rolled Sandman up with a handful of tights. This feud has no heat and is no fun. I don’t need any more of it. ½*

They’re were trying to make it seem like it’s a storyline that Tommy Dreamer was able to stand up after losing to Great Khali last week. That’s laughable. Speaking of things that aren’t really anything, Kevin Thorn will be in the Royal Rumble, but he wasn’t even important enough to put in the match graphic they showed (only four jobbers, including him, were left out) so why the hell even devote TV time to his participation in the match?

Bobby Lashley def. Rob Van Dam & Test {ECW Championship Triple Threat Match}
Given how rarely the NXT Championship is defended (which is relevant because this show eventually became NXT) it’s pretty insane that the ECW title has been defended three weeks in a row. What’s also insane is that while RVD has good chemistry with Test and Lashley, he couldn’t drag them both to something beyond mediocre. Lashley pinned RVD with a Dominator to complete silence from the crowd, and then Test laid out Lashley with the title belt. I shudder to think what the upcoming Test vs. Lashley series is going to be like. **½