WWE ECW 131

December 9, 2008 – Bridgeport, Connecticut

Tommy Dreamer starts the show in the ring so he can have a chat. He starts saying the same old shit, but before you know it Vladimir Kozlov ruhes in and attacks him. Kozlov calls Matt Hardy a coward. He challenges him to a match, which his apparently a rematch to a draw they had on Smackdown. Hardy doesn’t come out, just letting Dreamer continue to get attacked. Kozlov leaves through the crowd as Jack Swagger comes to the ring. Swagger continues the beating on Dreamer… and still nobody makes the save. This was super weird, and led to Kozlov vs. Hardy at the PPV with no title on the line (though on this show it’s announced as a title match) instead of Swagger getting a title shot. WWE in 2008 sucked.

The Miz & John Morrison def. Jimmy Wang Yang & Kung Fu Naki
Miz & Morrison won the Slammy Award for best tag team of 2008. Seems fair. Funaki is Japanese and Kung Fu is Chinese, and I don’t even know where to begin with the half Korean Yang’s gimmick. Todd Grisham: “Kung Fu Naki is known for his Karate.” I’ve heard that Krav Maga David is known for his Capoeira and Boxer Bill is known for his mat wrestling. Matt Striker makes a Yung Dragons reference, which I’m less mad at. I’m also less mad that Naki & Yang got to be competitive here. The crowd was really into them. After a fun match, Morrison caught Yang with the Slice for Heaven for the win at 9:21 (shown). ***

Tony Atlas shows off his classic ring gear to Mark Henry. Henry flips out at him, reminding him that their match tonight isn’t about Atlas, and yelling about his bags being in the wrong part of the locker room. Later, we see that Hornswoggle is excited for the main event, but Finlay is clearly worried. 

The Boogeyman def. Scott Reed
Well, at least it was shorter than a DJ Gabriel squash. Boogeyman won in 53 seconds with a choke bomb. N/A 

Mark Henry & Tony Atlas def. Finlay & Hornswoggle
As usual with this feud, Hornswoggle was fun, the rest was a heat suck. If ever a feud didn’t deserve a PPV blowoff, it was this one. And yet, that’s what we got. Finlay botched the finish too, as he was meant to get in the way of a splash to save his son, but he missed his cue. A redo goes right, and then Henry hits Finlay with the World’s Strongest Slam at 10:42. *

Okay, let’s look at Armageddon.

December 14, 2008 – Buffalo, New York

Vladimir Koslov def. Matt Hardy
No reason is given as to why this is no longer for the title. A ton of this match was set within a boring armbar. So so so much of it. Hardy got a tiny comeback for 45 seconds that the commentators said was the most anyone had taken it to Kozlov except for Triple H. How bad were all the other commentators that Striker & Grisham were considered the best in the company at the time? This match was trash and it totally devalued the champion. Kozlov won at 9:02 with a uranage. *¼ 

Finlay def. Mark Henry {Belfast Brawl}
The first few minutes of this were a drag because they were just having the same boring match that they always have. But then a ton of plunder entered the ring and they were able to cover up a bit how much of a drag this matchup was. Things got interesting when Henry started grabbing weapons out of Finlay’s hands and breaking them with his own bare hands. Mark Henry as a horror movie monster works. Finlay weathered the storm and hit a shillelagh shot for the win at 9:38. Not bad. **½