WWE ECW 05

July 11, 2006 – Minneapolis, Minnesota

Paul Heyman comes out to the ring flanked by a SWAT team. He’s no longer wearing his ECW gear, and is back in his corporate Heyman getup. He blames the fans for Rob Van Dam’s downfall. He says hey drove him to work too hard. Their chants were certainly enabling his pot problem. Heyman knows they hate him, but he’s willing to take the hit to save ECW. Pretty rough explanation, but they were in a rough spot to begin with. Tommy Dreamer approaches him backstage and asks for more of an explanation, but Heyman can’t talked because Dreamer is booked in a match right now.

Test def. Tommy Dreamer
The ECW originals are such tools on this show. Dreamer got a couple hope spots here, which is better than he’d been doing against Big Show the last couple of weeks. Also Test had to get his feet on the ropes to win, so maybe they’re not planning on totally jobbing Dreamer out. The match was pretty boring. *½

Ariel the tarot card reader is hanging out with that vampire, who finally made his way inside. He keeps spitting blood at the camera, but isn’t that his food? The whole point of vampires is to consume the blood. Then, Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle dance. Mike Knox comes out to stop them but Sandman canes him for it. Hopefully next week they don’t totally job Sandman to Knox. After that, we get another promo from CM Punk about his tattoos.

Justin Credible def. Sabu
This match ended in a disqualification for Sabu after a couple minutes when he put Credible through a table to hammer home the point that there are indeed non-extreme rules matches on this brand. N/A

Balls Mahoney has no inhibitions and he doesn’t care if you think his name is goofy. I don’t like looking at his teeth. Then Ric Flair gets some promo time. He wants a 17th world title, but he spends more time talking about his feud with Mick Foley (who is not on this brand). Also, Shannon Moore is coming and he looks weird as hell.

Big Show def. Ric Flair {ECW Championship Extreme Rules Match}
Welp, this rules. I can’t think of a Big Show match I’ve ever liked as much as I liked this, and it’s probably Flair’s last great match save for the Mania match against Shawn Michaels. The crowd was kind of hostile to them starting out, but they won them over in a big way with Flair’s great selling, some gnarly violence and gore, and a really fantastic story in which Flair needed plunder and low blows to stop Show from murdering him. Also Joey Styles was moderately less worthless than usual, pointing out that Show won a world title from Flair ten years earlier. ****