Lucha Underground: The Gauntlet

December 28, 2016 – Los Angeles, California

Chrome Vampiro awakens Prince Puma in his dojo. He tells Puma to pledge himself to Vampiro, and Puma calls him master. Then they both disappear. I am very into Chrome Vampiro and Puma Dark. 

Jeremiah Crane def. Mil Muertes
Crane took a head drop off of a spear. That was stomach churning. After a couple minutes of getting destroyed, Crane is saved by a returning Puma, who hits Muertes with a kendo stick and gives Crane the win at 1:55. Puma wipes out Muertes with the stick after the match. Vampiro stands up and Puma kneels in his direction. N/A

Ricky Mandel gives Sexy Star props for being the first female champion, but then he fawns over Johnny Mundo. He gives her a package that he found that was addressed to her, and then admits that he sent Mundo tons of fan mail that’s gone unanswered. Star opens the package and it’s predictably a spider. In the gym, Texano pumps some iron. Famous B and Beautiful Brenda approach him and say he’s not connecting with the fans. They like Cage more than they like him. But he can change that. Texano thinks the fans will like him more if he beats up B. That’s probably true. You know what I never expected to happen? I’ve become a Texano fan. 

Jack Evans & PJ Black def. Angelico & Son Of Havoc
We get some nice bits between Angelico and Evans, who trash talk each other and acknowledge that they’ve been partners in AAA. Their gear had more than given that away. This got a little sloppy at the end, which is too bad because they had a good thing going for a while. Angelico then got injured again, this time his elbow. This guy just had the worst damn luck in the world. This wound up being his final appearance in the ring on this show. Evans finished things up with a Phoenix Splash on Havoc at 5:47. **½ 

Dario Cueto is looking into his spooky god box when Star barges in demanding a match against Mariposa. Cueto is all for it. 

Texano def. Cage
This was quick and action-packed. Texano won with the sitout powerbomb  at 2:13 after Cage was left loopy thanks to getting his face driven into an exposed turnbuckle. Cage kinda looked like a chump here. Cueto came out and said that since both guys clearly wanted his really freakin’ awesome ultimate opportunity so badly, they could break the tie in their best of five series right now. **

Cage def. Texano {Anything Goes Match}
This match starts with Cage bleeding and Texano smiling. It was a really incredible brawl. Texano controlled most of it, with Cage reeling from the damage in the first match. They brawled intensely all over the building, with the crowd hanging on their every move. They beat the crap out of each other. Cage’s comebacks were short and tragic, as he just didn’t have the energy for sustained offense. In the end, a desperate discus lariat gave Cage an opening to whip Texano with his bull rope and hit the Drill Claw for the win at 13:40. This is one of those sneaky great Lucha Underground matches I hadn’t heard was great and then turned out to be just fantastic. ****

Cueto comes out after the match and awards Cage the ultimate opportunity. But he doesn’t want to give it to him in front of the fans. He invites Cage into his office. There, Cueto gives him the god box, which contains a steel gauntlet (the Shredder claw from earlier in the season). Cage isn’t a renaissance fair guy, but Cueto insists he try it on. Cage does so, is filled with a new power, and then chokes Cueto with it. Cueto smiles when Cage leaves.