June 14, 2017 – Los Angeles, California
Dario Cueto sets the bracket for the tournament in his office. Pentagon Dark emerges, all healed up. He wants Black Lotus. She’s gone back to Hong Kong. Dark almost breaks Cueto’s finger, but Cueto offers him arms to break on the way to winning the Cueto Cup. Dark says that if he doesn’t leave Ultima Lucha Tres with gold, he’s breaking Cueto’s bones.
The Mack def. Mala Suerte {First Round Match}
Mack was a hair away from being champion for two weeks and Suerte has been a comedy jobber, so this match being so even felt dumb. They weren’t even trying to sell that Mack might be doubting himself after his recent title match losses. Mack put this out of its misery with a Pounce and Stunner out of nowhere at 7:31. Blah. *¾
Cage lifts weights as the gauntlet charges him up. Cueto wants him to thank Councilman Delgado for the gift. Cage isn’t interested. Cueto gives him Delgado’s address and tells him that he’s expected there.
Pentagon Dark def. Argenis {First Round Match}
Argenis? They really had that much trouble scrounging up 32 guys? This was structured the way the last match should have been. Argenis hit a few of his signature fun spots, but Dark mostly dominated. Argenis kicked out of the pumphandle driver though, which is absurd. It’s Argenis! Dark hits the package piledriver for the win at 5:43. After the match, Dark breaks Argenis’s arm. That’s twice for Argenis. Can we stop with Argenis now? **¼
Texano def. Famous B {First Round Match}
B is still dressing as a cowboy and courting Texano for his stable. He even offers to take a dive for Texano. Texano insists on hitting the Ligerbomb first, and then he wins at 26 seconds. That was cute. Texano flirts with Beautiful Brenda on his way out. N/A
An Australian narrator hypes the Johnny Mundo vs. Rey Mysterio title match. That match isn’t happening for two months (oh my god this tournament is going to take two months to complete). I’m going to have to look back and see if this is the most episodes between title defenses. Oh, and this narrator was bad.
Drago def. Aero Star {First Round Match}
The commentators remind us that this is the seventh match between these two in Lucha Underground. I’d forgotten, because none of the previous ones were that interesting. This is the same as it ever was; there was way too much over-choreographed AAA influence and not enough of the hybrid Lucha Underground style. Moon interfering from the floor set this apart a bit, but interference from the floor isn’t exactly thrilling. Drago got his funky roll up for the win at 7:25. Meh, nothing doing here. Moon orders Drago to beat up Aerostar more after the match, so he does. Aerostar lost to a roll up, not sure why he’d be suseptible to a beating after this match. **½
Cage goes to City Hall to meet with Delgado. Delgado tells Cage that the gauntlet is imbuing him with power, which is why it’s on all the time now. Cage loses his temper lets Delgado know the he doesn’t work for him. He apologizes and Delgado accepts, saying Cage is still thinking like a man. The gauntlet takes over and Cage crushes Delgado’s head with one punch, then steps on his eyeball on his way out the door. Gross.