NXT UK 134

February 4, 2021 – Newham, London

Xia Brookside def. Nina Samuels
If Brookside loses after all this time,I’ll consider it a personal insult on my birthday. Samuels has a luggage caddy, but he seems too small to be a wrestler. Probably just some crew guy. This is the kind of extraneous role that doesn’t add much to Samuels and isn’t needed during a pandemic when fewer people present is better. After a boring little match, Samuels hits Brookside with a (presumably loaded) handbag for the win at 4:45. Why this feud must continue I do not understand. *

Sic Scala won’t say when the upcoming Tag Team Championship match is happening. Jordan Devlin berates Scala for not telling him who his opponent will be tonight. Scala doesn’t seem confident in his abilities as Assistant GM. Then they show an ad for WrestleMania and it’s hilarious that they’re just straight up reusing the theme from last year. So lazy. Later, Jack Starz is offered the match against Devlin, but he turns him down. Why? And what was Scala doing all week? Is his incompetence actually going to be a storyline?

Joseph Conners def. Josh Morrell
Seems they’re flipping the Conners/Jinny alliance, with her giving him a boost since he did nothing to help her win the NXT UK Women’s Championship. This was as dull as you’d expect, though Morrell certainly tried to liven things up a bit. Conners hit a crossarm neckbreaker for the win at 5:41. **

They show a long Sha Samuels video. He’s not here to exercise, he’s here to fight. Then, Brookside demands a rematch with Samuels .Scala seems put out. Why is that difficult for him? Later, they remind us that Meiko Satomura is debuting next week. Later still, they hype Pretty Deadly getting a tag title shot but don’t say when it will be. Given that there are four titles for this company that only has one-hour shows, every episode should have a title match or a contender match. Or a grudge match, like next week’s Hunt vs. Flash Mandrews Street Fight. I’m cool with that too. And oh my gaaaaad the Supernova Sessions returns next week, with Samuels as the guest. 

Ilja Dragunov def. Tyson T-Bone
Last week seemed to suggest that Dragunov would fight Sam Gradwell, but they probably didn’t want to job Gradwell out two weeks in a row. Instead, Gradwell comes out to tease Dragunov about his temper. This distracts Dragunov enough for T-Bone to control the whole match. An attack to the back from T-Bone sets Dragunov off. The rest is the same as the Starz match, as Dragunov hits the Danielson Elbows for the win at 6:47. Gradwell calls Dragunov emotionally weak and gets attacked. I’d like them to get over this Gradwell hurdle as quickly as possible. **¼ 

Joe Coffey def. Danny Jones
This episode feels like a prank. It’s not great when a little squash is the most entertaining match is the most exciting one on the show so far. Coffey hits AwRaBestFurThaBells for the win at 2:51. Afterwards, Coffey challenges Rampage Brown to a match. Brown accepts. N/A

Jordan Devlin def. Dave Mastiff
Mastiff doesn’t want a title match, but he thinks Devlin is just keeping the title warm while Trent Seven loses weight anyway. Implied is that Devlin will be proving that he can still beat bigger guys as the bigger Seven gets ready for him. These two have good chemistry. Mastiff in general always puts on a better show than I expect him to. The guy is a great person to have in the midcard. Devlin has to fight hard, but eventually puts Mastiff down with a 450 splash at 12:06. ***½ 

The main event saved this from being a total bomb of an episode, though it did not save it from being inconsequential.