NXT 562

May 13, 2020 – Winter Park, Florida

Lord, beer me strength, I don’t know how many more silent wrestling matches I can review.

Matt Riddle & Timothy Thatcher def. Fabian Aichner & Marcel Barthel {NXT Tag Team Championship Match}
There was some cute stuff here, like interesting stretches from Thatcher and Riddle playing face-in-peril well. But without a crowd, Riddle’s struggle and Thatcher’s betrayal fell totally flat. Riddle’s little solo comeback was fun, but Imperium hit he European Bomb for the win and the titles at 7:52 (shown). I didn’t buy Thatcher’s turn here. **¾ 

In the back, Thatcher says he turned on Riddle because Riddle is goofy. Riddle was goofy before the match started, so why turn in the middle? Riddle confronts him and they have to be pulled apart. This isn’t working. 

Tegan Nox def. Indi Hartwell
Hartwell technically debuted in a battle royal before the pandemic, but this is the first time she gets to show her personality on TV. Empty arenas are no place for a low-card debut. Nox won in 3:19 with the Shiniest Wizard. Just three minutes of whatever to get to a win that will lead nowhere for Nox. Man, I’m really feeling down on this show right now. N/A

Rhea Ripley is going to be the person to bring the title back to NXT, and she’ll beat that into Io Shirai on her way to Charlotte Flair. Then, Riddle facetimes with NXT General Manager William Regal to get a match tonight against Thatcher. Thatcher attacks him, but luckily a referee is in the room to tell him to leave. Thatcher hits him with a flatscreen monitor. 

Jake Atlas def. Tony Nese {Group A Round Robin Tournament Match}
Nese can only spoil Atlas’s chances of getting to the finals. Before the match, Atlas said he wanted Drake Maverick to beat Kushida and force a tie, but unless they changed the rules of the tournament, Atlas would win the block thanks to his previous win over Maverick anyway. This was fun, though shorter than it should have been. Atlas won in 5:02 with the Rainbow DDT (formerly the LGBTQDDT). **¾ 

Adam Cole facetimes with Kyle O’Reilly, who is acting in a movie with Daniel Day Lewis and Danny DeVito. Not sure how that’s meant to be happening. Bobby Fish and Roderick Strong join the call too. They shoot the shit until Dexter Lumis comes up. They decide that Strong will fight him next week. This had an Always Sunny vibe to it, so that’s dope. 

Doomsday cuts a spooky promo while the former Armageddon PPV music plays. They aren’t like the Undisputed Era or Tommaso Ciampa. They’re here to entertain and wake us up. They continue to look like a big deal. Then, Dakota Kai and Raquel Gonzalez tell us their story. During Kai and Nox’s rehab, WWE cameras only ever came to film Nox. Kai decided she wasn’t going to run out her career in Nox’s shadow. Gonzalez felt like an outcast too, giving her a common bond with Kai. This was also nicely done. 

Triple H and Shawn Michaels announce that tomorrow is the 25th anniversary of the first In Your House PPV. Road Dogg pops up to lie about the three of them all having matches on that show and who they were against. In truth, while Dogg’s match against Razor Ramon (which was a handicap match) was at that show, the Michaels match against Jeff Jarrett mentioned was on IYH2 and Triple H’s match against Henry Godwinn was at IYH5. Triple H not wanting to admit that match happened (because his face got buried in the slop bucket) was cute. Anyway, the next Takeover will be In Your House. That’s fun, but I have a feeling it’ll be the worst Takeover to date. Prove me wrong! Notable, HBK has his face mask on pretty much the whole time, Dogg has one on his around his neck, and Triple H isn’t wearing one. 

Cameron Grimes def. Finn Balor
This was another solid match that was inching toward feeling important. Then Damian Priest showed up and hit Balor with his nightstick, giving Grimes the win with the Cave In at 6:22 (shown). That’s big for Grimes, but nobody will remember it because this whole stretch of empty arena shows is so forgettable. Priest hits Balor with the Reckoning on a chair after the match and says he was Balor’s backstage attacker. **¾ 

Jack Gallagher def. Isaiah Scott {Group B Round Robin Tournament Match}
Scott had taunted that Gallagher should quit wrestling if he couldn’t win any of his tournament matches. Well, he paid for that here when 0-3 Nese attacked him before the match. Scott got a near-fall here, but couldn’t capitalize because of the injury from Nese. Gallagher then played spoiler here, going 1-2 but making sure Scott has the same record. Gallagher pinned Scott in 3:35 with a roaring elbow. **

Kayden Carter def. Aliyah
This match was presented by Geico! Aliyah was in control, but when Robert Stone came out to scout her she tried to do too much to impress him and paid for it. Carter put on a leglock at 2:51 for the win. What is their obsession with Aliyah? I mean, find these pandemic shows aren’t interesting anyway so give your projects some time, but Aliyah hasn’t improved at all in years. *

Johnny Gargano & Candice LeRae have dinner on TV again. This table is way too tall for Gargano. Give this guy a booster seat. That aside, this is great. He and LeRae watch his win over Dijakovic. That’s great. LeRae reluctantly admits that while Kacy Catanzaro is no longer a ninja or warrior, she’s still American. That’s great. Gargano’s easy win over Dijakovic means he could beat Keith Lee, and LeRae thinks Mia Yim is given undeserved opportunities. Those two are a couple , so this couple wants to take them down. LeRae also hates Lee’s entrance song. That’s great and a correct opinion. 

The Group A and B cruiserweight matches come to an end next week, and Ripley takes on Shirai.

Matt Riddle def. Timothy Thatcher
Okay, this I liked. They beat each other up and stretched each other out. Intense violence is the answer for no fans in the stands. Riddle escaped a submission by getting on top of Thatcher and pinning him at 8:50. After the match, Thatcher attacks again, ramming Riddle’s arm into the post and putting on the Fujiwara Armbar. And that’s how the show ends. ***¼