September 1, 2009 – Cleveland, Ohio
Shelton Benjamin def. Zack Ryder
This was just a match, and one that didn’t capture the crowd’s attention. This angle has been flat from the start. Benjamin won with the Paydirt at 3:29. **
Tony Atlas is now Abraham Washington’s sidekick. It was so nice to have a week off from this crap on the last episode. He shits on Cleveland for twelve hours and then brings out Gregory Helms as his guest. Even Atlas doing a satirical overdone laugh at everything everyone says can’t save this black hole. Paul Burchill and Katie Lea come out too, and as usual, nothing happens. Apparently, Burchill won in their Superstars match. The Hurricane shows up on the screen from Gotham to challenge Burchill for a match next week. Burchill doesn’t know how Helms is playing this dual identity game (you really can’t figure out how to have a pre-recorded video play?) but he accepts the challenge anyway. I want to go back in time and stop the Abraham Washington Show from ever happening.
Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov def. Jim Parks & Mike Tolar
Total squash. Jackson and Kozlov both hit their finishers on Parks for the win at 2:01. Regal starts beating the kid up but Christian comes out to distract him. He and Tommy Dreamer and a pair of kendo sticks run down and brawl with the bad guys. Tag match coming next week. N/A
Sheamus def. Goldust {No Count Out No Disqualification Match}
Again, this feud has been so one-sided it doesn’t really make sense that this match is even happening. They didn’t really make use of the stipulation at all, except for a few moments early on when they punched and kicked each other on the floor. Most of the match was punching and kicking, and it sucked. It went on and on and then Sheamus hit the backbreaker for the win at 8:58 (shown). In any just world, neither Sheamus or Goldust would have ever been in another main event of anything after this. *