WWE ECW 153

May 12, 2009 – Dayton, Ohio

Tiffany tells Jack Swagger and Christian that if there’s a physical altercation during tonight’s main event Peep Show there will be consequences. She doesn’t say what those consequences will be, so who cares.

Mark Henry def. Tommy Dreamer
This was the time to give Dreamer a big win over a giant obstacle like this. Instead, Henry survived the DDT and hit the World’s Strongest Slam moments later for the win at 4:54. The match was dull and the finish was all wrong. *½ 

Finlay def. Tyson Kidd
After a fine but unspectacular match, Finlay won by disqualification at 7:03 (shown) when David Hart Smith interfered. Natalya had been banned from ringside, you see. The way you do this angle is Smith causing Finlay to lose. Getting Kidd blatantly disqualified and beating Finlay up just reinforces that winning doesn’t matter. I know WWE doesn’t really care who wins (except they clearly do because they love jobbing people out to punish them), but damn it makes watching this show boring when I don’t care about the match results. Also a note to Matt Striker: three people is a trio, not a trilogy. **¼ 

Paul Burchill and Katie Lea complain to Tiffany about not being on the show two weeks in a row. Burchill is again too quiet to be picked up by the mics. Lea warns Tiffany that Burchill being idle will be bad for her. 

Vladimir Kozlov def. Chad Collyer
Remember Chad Collyer?! He was small in Ring of Honor, but he’s comically small in a WWE ring. Kozlov wins in 1:10 with a chokeslam. Striker tried to connect Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama here (saying since they’re “both communists” that they’d both like Kozlov) in a joke that just insane with seven years of hindsight. N/A

The Peep Show begins with the announcement that Christian will have to go through Henry on Superstars before fighting Swagger at Judgment Day. Swagger calls Christian a cheater again. Christian says he cheated because he saw that Swagger was going to try to cheat as well. Then he plays a video making fun of Swagger’s lisp. Swagger taunts Christian for not being able to attack him during the Peep Show. So Christian declares the show over and sucker punches Swagger. Cute. 

Skipping right over Superstars and landing on Judgment Day.

May 17, 2009 – Rosemont, Illinois

Christian def. Jack Swagger {ECW Championship Match}
There was no mention of the Henry match on Superstars, so I guess nothing interesting happened there. They do the in-ring introductions this time around, so I guess the show was running on time. This was a less compelling match than their first title match and than the Backlash match. That said, the finish was a lot of fun, seeing Christian block the powerbomb, pull down Swagger’s straps, and then use them to roll Swagger up for the win at 9:33. **¾