WWE ECW 119

September 16, 2018 – Nashville, Tennessee

Matt Hardy def. Mike Knox
They announce that Mark Henry will get a title shot at No Mercy, and that he’ll fight Finlay in the main event. Why not make the main event a contender match? And while I’m already irritated, who thought it’d be a good idea to give a Mike Knox singles match so much TV time? Knox never knew where to be in the ring, as evidenced here and in the tag match the week before. I only have to deal with him for a few more episodes of ECW, but I’m astonished that he managed to job himself through a few more years of WWE employment after this. Hardy won at 9:41 (shown) with the Twist of Fate. *½ 

Evan Bourne def. The Miz
Bourne had Ricky Ortiz with him to counter John Morrison being at ringside. Matt Striker was so insufferable on commentary (don’t call Miz a rabbi when you don’t know what the word rabbi means) that wrestlers were apparently confronting him backstage and getting him to back down on his shit-talk. Even his attempts to mimic Bobby Heenan are irritating. As for the match, it was actually a little more interesting than Bourne’s match against Morrison last week, thanks to a shorter match time and extracurriculars on the floor, though that moment that Miz almost caved in Bourne’s skull with a slingshot legdrop proved that he shouldn’t have been trying out things that he couldn’t do. Bourne won in 5:29 with a roll up. **1/2

Jack Swagger def. Chase Stevens
This was a more of what Swagger should have been doing the week before, making the most of every second of his squash and hitting power move after power move the whole time. He hit the Blue Thunder Bomb for the win at 1:47. N/A

Mark Henry def. Finlay
Striker calls Henry’s extremities, “limb-like.” They’re just limbs, man. It’d be kind of like me saying that Striker has a cranium-like head, when in reality it’s just a head, and it’s filled with demon shit. This was another boring ass main event. What are they thinking giving so much time to matches like this? Nothing happened for the first ten minutes. I’m not exaggerating when I say that; absolutely nothing of note happened. Down the stretch, Hornswoggle got involved, which woke up the crowd a bit. Finlay finally got some offense near the end, but then Henry crushed him and won with the World’s Strongest Slam at 10:27 (shown). God help me. *