Lucha Underground: Ultima Lucha Tres, Part 2

October 4, 2017 – Los Angeles, California

Ivelisse knows that Jeremiah Crane has had some side action and wants to know who she is. He admits that he’s known her since he was a kid and that it’s Catrina. He also talks to her like an abusive asshole. Ivelisse walks out on him and says she’ll kick his ass after she does the same to Catrina tonight. He spews diarrhea out of his mouth so she kicks him through a stall door. It’s hard for me to believe that Sami Callihan doesn’t talk about women this way in real life, but maybe I’m wrong and he’s a good actor. You be the judge. 

The Mack def. Argenis, Cortez Castro, Joey Ryan, Mala Suerte, Mascarita Sagrada, Paul London, Pimpinela Escarlata, PJ Black, Ricky Mundo, Saltador, Son Of Madness, and Vinny Massaro {Battle Royal}
This was too short for a battle royal with so many people in it. The crowd was pretty hyped for Escarlata’s return though. Sagrada eliminated Castro and Ryan, making that whole feud feel pretty pointless. London and Escarlata had a very Danshoku exchange that everyone seemed to dig. Black couldn’t even be bothered to take off his tank top, and then he was eliminated last by the Mack at 3:32. This was like what I imagine a battle royal in WSX would look like if anyone actually cared about some of the wrestlers involved. After the match, Dario Cueto tells Mack that the unique opportunity he’s earned is a Trios Championship Match next week. But Cueto will choose his partners, and he picks Killshot and Dante Fox. Get it? because they destroyed each other last week. *¾ 

Ivelisse def. Catrina
Catrina called Ivelisse a bitch before the match, which hurt Catrina’s mystique for me a lot. Why does Catrina even care about this match anymore now that she can be made human again if she gets the gauntlet to her mother? Apparently she cares about it a ton, what with the bitch talk and the smashing of wine bottles over Ivelisse’s head. Ivelisse bleeds a ton, which seems excessive for a feud that’s been on hold for almost a full year and couldn’t have been missed by anyone. Anyway, the fans go crazy for the blood and brawling. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on it because from what I remember Catrina is terrible while this is completely watchable. A fight over the magic rock goes badly for Catrina, as Ivelisse smacks her with it and hits a DDT for the win at 6:16. Like I said, this was shockingly solid. Crane runs out after the match and attacks Ivelisse’s leg with a hammer. Catrina gets the rock back in the chaos. **¾ 

Fenix def. Marty Martinez {Mask vs. Hair Match}
This match had serious identity issues. It didn’t know if it wanted to be a comedy comeuppance match, with Martinez putting Mariposa in harm’s way and then becoming a bumbling goof after she abandoned him, but also Fenix bleeding like crazy and getting his mask ripped apart. Speaking of which, Fenix on-camera was seen helping Martinez rip the mask open, which is super sloppy. Kudos to Vampiro for trying to address it, but it still looked bad. Also, did we need a ton of blood in two matches in a row? And after last week’s bloodbath? I’m just numb to it now. It’s pretty clear that this and the last match were filmed before last week’s main event, because the blood stains being left on the mat here were visible last week. Melissa Santos got on the apron to stop Martinez from stabbing Fenix with scissors and hit him with a low blow, allowing Fenix to hit a springboard 450 splash for the win at 12:22. After the match, Martinez tries to leave but Mariposa returns, turns on him, and handcuffs him to the guardrail so he can get his hair cut by Santos and Fenix. 

I kind of hated this. Why didn’t Martinez falling over himself after Mariposa left lead to anything? Also, Fenix bleeding felt totally pointless. Santos interfering in the end was the right move, but it did nothing to justify Santos’s weird match (and loss) two weeks earlier. And the Mariposa turn felt totally unearned. Martinez caused her to get hurt once and she betrays him? Why was she out there in the first place if not to help him win? There was no build to it. Points for the hard work in the ring and the right person going over, but this match survived because Fenix and Martinez had super over characters going into it, not because it was an angle well-executed. ***