Lucha Underground: The Desolation of Drago

May 22, 2015 – Los Angeles, California

Drago is hanging out on the roof of the Temple. Good to know he can transform back from a fireball to a man. Inside, Vampiro apologizes for getting involved in the show last week. Matt Striker commends him for saving Sexy Star, who is only out for a few weeks instead of a few months at the hands of Pentagon. 

Dario Cueto announces Ultima Lucha coming up in a few weeks. It will be an annual event featuring the biggest matches of the year. Tonight, they will determine the competitor who will fight for the Lucha Underground Championship on that show. Everyone who has faced Puma for the title will fight each other in the main event: Fenix, Cage, King Cuerno, and Hernandez. Oh wait, Fenix is out of action after his death match, so it’ll be a three way. Then Cueto brings out Blue Demon Jr. He wants to see if Demon has ring rust before he books him on Ultima Lucha.

Chavo Guerrero def. Blue Demon Jr. {No Disqualification Match}
All of Guerrero’s Mexico problems stemmed from attacking Demon, so I’m not sure why he’d want this match. Demon fights in formalwear, while Guerrero has the Crew with him. The Crew got involved a lot and then Guerrero hit a Frog Splash for the win at 3:05. This was barely a match. *

Drago enters the temple. Meanwhile, Guerrero confronts Black Lotus. She says that El Dragon Azteca will send Mexico after him, but he claims that destroying Demon tonight will scare Mexico off. Okay so Guerrero’s storyline makes no sense. Then, Drago confronts Cueto in the bathroom, because that’s where these two lovebirds always get together. Drago wants to be put in the main event tonight because he’s faced Puma for the title before too. He wants revenge on Hernandez as well. Cueto is satisfied with that loophole, but wants Drago to put his mask on the line as well. Drago agrees. This storyline makes way more sense and is very satisfying. 

Barrio Negro, El Siniestro de la Muerte & Trece def Bengala, Mascarita Sagrada & Pimpinela Escarlata
Negro, Muerte & Trece are billed as the Disciples of Death, and they’re Mil Muertes’s skull boys. It’s impossible to tell them apart, and IRL they’re just repurposed jobbers we’ve seen here before. Bengala is Ricky Marvin, who I didn’t know what still wrestling at this point (or today in 2019 for that matter). Normally, Escarlata & Sagrada would team with Star or El Mariachi Loco, but Star is out of action and Loco is one of the skull boys. It was a weird choice to have the dead gang’s first match against a comedy team, since they’re more or less the opposite of comedy. Catrina gives Escarlata the kiss of death which leads to the Disciples hitting an assisted powerbomb on her for the win at 6:56. **

Johnny Mundo goes to Cueto to complain that he’s not in the main event tonight. Cueto says he thinks Mundo will already be champion by the time Ultima Lucha rolls around. He’s gotten over Mundo attacking him, “So you gave me a black eye. I look great in sunglasses!” I fucking love this guy. He was so impressed with the way he did away with Alberto el Patron, he’s giving Mundo a title match next week. It’s going to be the first ever All Night Long match. Similar to an Iron Man match, but the time limit is TV time, not necessarily one hour. Most pins and submissions in the hour wins, and there are no disqualifications or count outs. 

Drago def. Cage, Hernandez, and King Cuerno {Number One Contendership Fatal Four Way Match}
Drago was the only babyface, so the result wasn’t much in question. Also the episode title telegraphed it. He got a massive reaction when his name was announced, and the commentators prove that the people in the Temple aren’t meant to know what happens in the vignettes because they speculate what kind of deal he must have made to get in. There wasn’t much to write home about here, and having Drago win by pinning Cuerno instead of Hernandez made it feel empty. Drago misted and rolled up Cuerno for the win at 10:34. **¾ 

Catrina attacks Cueto in his office, asking him why Mil Muertes wasn’t in the main event tonight. Cueto said Meurtes had never fought Puma before, and he didn’t know Muertes even wanted to be champion. Catrina won’t let up, so Cueto says Muertes can fight Drago in two weeks for the right to face the champion at Ultima Lucha.