Lucha Underground: No Mas

May 4, 2016 – Los Angeles, California

Dario Cueto and Catrina have a difference of opinion over what happened in the match between Mil Muertes and Matanza Cueto. Cartrina wants a rematch and Cueto isn’t at all afraid. The rematch will happen next week in a Grave Consequences match with four coffins. Not sure how that actually changes the stakes of the match but okay. 

The Mack def. Marty Martinez {Ancient Medallion Match}
This was basically a squash for Mack. This storyline really hasn’t amounted to anything at all, as the babyfaces lost a match each early, went through no transformation, and then just came back and won. Mack hit a TKO for the win at 3:46. **

Catrina tells King Cuerno that Siniestro de la Muerte will be the person guarding the Gift of the Gods Championship, a job Cuerno was supposed to have before he got a taste for the Lucha Underground Championship. Cuerno disagrees. I’m glad they finally explicitly stated what was going on with that agreement earlier in the season. Meanwhile, Sexy Star goes to Cueto’s office. Cueto says he knows the Martinezes abuses her, because she has the same look in her eyes that his brother had when their mother abused them. He wants her to do to Mariposa what his brother did to his mother (he murdered her). They’ll have a No Mas Match (I Quit Match). But Cueto doesn’t want her to stop after she quits. 

Siniestro de la Muerte def.  King Cuerno {Ancient Medallion Match}
This was hardly a match. Cuerno looked to squash but Catrina interfered allowing Muerte to hit a springboard Famouser for the win at 1:45. *¼ 

Chavo Guerrero is pissed that he doesn’t get a match for a medallion. Cueto is done with him because he’s such a loser. Guerrero says he’ll seize an opportunity. Something about Cueto casually blowing Guerrero odd made me very happy. 

Cage def. Mascarita Sagrada {Ancient Medallion Match}
Famous B convinced Cage to defend his Medallion against Sagrada, so I guess he’s Sagrada’s manager now. Sagrada was already over, so B probably should have been paired with someone else. This was exactly what you’d expect a babyface monster reluctantly destroying a little person to look like. Cage hit the F5 in 51 seconds for the win. After the match, Guerrero runs out and steals Cage’s medallion. N/A

Sexy Star def. Mariposa {Ancient Medallion No Mas Match}
Matt Striker brings up the Rock vs. Mankind I Quit match, which I think sets the bar a little high for this setting. I guess I spoke too soon about this feud earlier, because this was a more satisfying conclusion. Mack and Martinez got involved in a way that was more fitting than their nothing match earlier. And here, Star got beaten up badly, even bloodied, before getting the hard fought win. It was violent and at times kind of scary (they fought on a scaffold for a while). I could have done without Striker constantly talking about Star being a woman in condescending terms. There are ways to do that and make Star sound tough, not just scorned. Anyway, this is one of the only stipulations that isn’t totally overdone in wrestling, so it’s fun to see what people do with it still. Star shouting “FUCK YOU” the last time the referee asked her to quit was awesome. Martinez got involved one more time, but Mack helped her take him out again. The match ended at 15:24 when Star put on a cross armbreaker. That’d be disappointing but then Star kept beating the crap out of Mariposa after she quit, so it gets points back. ***¾ 

Striker after the match says, “Never once did we question gender.” You dirty lying piece of shit. You can’t even help yourself when the directive is to be progressive.