Lucha Underground: Gods Among Men

January 11, 2017 – Los Angeles, California

Dario Cueto tells Councilman Delgado that Cage and the Gauntlet will be in action tonight. The gauntlet’s power is consuming Cage. Soon, the god will be among them. El Dragon Azteca comes in and demands a death match against Matanza. Delgado likes Azteca’s balls. Cueto makes it happen. 

On commentary, Vampiro promises Mil Muertes that his time will come soon enough. 

Texano def. Joey Ryan
They were playing this very basic, which made sense once Famous B and Beautiful Brenda came out wearing cowboy costumes. Ryan starts gaining control, so B distracts him with the bull rope while Brenda slips Texano a horseshoe. Texano uses that to get the win at 7:03. Texano shoves B, but he seems very interested in Brenda. **¼ 

Johnny Mundo cuts an in-ring promo that’s much more reminiscent of every company that isn’t Lucha Underground. He talks for a while, but the big idea is that the Mack doesn’t have the conditioning to last in an All Night Long Match. Mack runs in and beats him up. The Worldwide Underground runs out to save their man, but Mack takes them out with Stunners. Mundo calls for security, but Mack takes them all out too. Mack was made to look good here, but I didn’t like how WWEish this was. On the other hand, I did say on the last episode that Mack doesn’t do well in vignettes, so maybe this was a smart way to go. 

Cage def. Veneno
Cage wore the gauntlet to the ring but not throughout the match. Veneno is Ricky Reyes doing an Arachnaman impression. Cage squashed him in 1:21 with the Drill Claw. He immediately put the gauntlet on after the match and lost his cool when the referee raised his hand. Sexy Star runs out and blames Veneno for the spiders (that makes sense) and kicks him in the face. N/A

Prince Puma trains and remembers his history with Konnan and Muertes. He’s tortured by the memories. Catrina appears and tells Puma that he’s experiencing what happens after you cross over to the spirit realm and come back. I wonder if Puma is the man that Catrina told Jeremiah Crane that she’s in love with. 

Matanza Cueto def. El Dragon Azteca {Death Match}
Azteca got to look good here, climbing walls to give himself an agility advantage over the powerful Cueto. Beyond that, this was a rather typical walk-and-brawl. The finish was pretty wild, as Cueto chokeslammed Azteca through the bleachers, causing the referee to call an end to the match at 6:25. The production crew did a clever thing there, as they filled the broken bleachers with fog so that the fans couldn’t see inside. The referee just deciding that the match would end there was pretty dumb, but whatever this match was always just there to get to the aftermath. **¾ 

Speaking of which, Rey Mysterio returns and attacks Cueto. They brawl up in the raftors, Cueto attacking fans to get to Mysterio. That led to a good discussion between the commentators where they say that nobody is breaking the fight up because they’re afraid of Matanza. Rey gets his ass kicked, but a miracle backdrop sends Cueto through the roof of his brother’s office. Dario screams for everyone to get out of the Temple in panic. 

Outside the Temple, Melissa Santos greets her fans as Marty Martinez watches on like a creepy perv. Out of nowhere, Martinez is kidnapped. He wakes up in a grimey bathroom, tied up by his sister Mariposa. She says he has her attention and believes he’s grown up. Then she slaps him and walks out as he begins to gnaw through the ropes.