The Top 100 Tag Teams of All Time | 98: The Colony

Click here to see the Top 100 Tag Teams of All Time list so far.

Here we have the number 117-ranked Colony in the number 98 slot. The future Orange Cassidy and Drew Gulak debuted in CHIKARA as Fire Ant & Soldier Ant, respectively, in the company’s Tag World Grand Prix in 2006. You’d think that since CHIKARA was so focused on teams that they’d have a bigger presence on this list, and the fact that this is already the second CHIKARA-centric team would seem to back that up. But I believe there’s only one other team that was primarily in CHIKARA (or at least very often in CHIKARA) remaining on this list. Anyway, let’s take a look at a few of their matches from their peak in ‘08 and ‘09.

April 25, 2009 – Easton, Pennsylvania 

Chuck Taylor & Icarus def. Fire Ant & Soldier Ant
From CHIKARA Behind the 8 Ball. Taylor’s pre-match promo is alright, but Icarus’s is so bad it made me want to die a little. The choice to have the match end with funky cheating after what was otherwise a pretty exciting if highspot-oriented match was a weird one. Taylor & Icarus doing a fake nutshot leading to a real nutshot leading to Taylor putting Soldier Ant in a Cross Crab for the win at 12:16. I would have liked that whole bit a lot more if it happened in the middle of the match, rather than wrapping things up. But given this match’s midcard status, short length, and place in CHIKARA history, it was rather clearly a step on the road to a bigger match between these teams. Fun while it lasted, though. ***¼ 

November 9, 2008 – Oberhausen, North Rhine-Westphalia 

Fire Ant & Soldier Ant def. STIGMA & Vin Gerard {Semifinal Match}
From wXw/CHIKARA Tag World Grand Prix. When I try to make this show full screen on IWTV, the aspect ratio gets screwed up. Maybe one of the guys in this match could do something about that. This match didn’t grab me. Yes it was fast-paced and didn’t have any lulls, but it also had a touch of nonsensical bad ref spots and moments when it wasn’t at all clear who was meant to be the victim and perpetrator of violence in certain spots. That’s indie mess and I don’t care for it. Fire Ant hit Gerard with the Beach Break for the win at 14:10. **¾ 

Fire Ant & Soldier Ant def. Martin Stone & PAC and Amasis & Ophidian {Tournament Final Elimination Match}
I would not be surprised if this is the only instance in this series of two of a team’s top five matches happening on the same night. Fire Ant has an absurdly bright orange getup here. Stone appeared to get injured within the first few minutes of the match. PAC looked to go it alone, but Ophidian countered a Phoenix Splash to a roll up to eliminate him about eight minutes in. That was a rough start, and it took a while for them to get into a groove after that. And no matter how much they started to draw me in, which did happen as the match wore on, Ophidian kept doing annoying things that made me want to throw up my hands. First, he waved his hands around like an idiot while sitting on Amasis’s shoulders as a way of buying time for the Colony to get set up for them to all do a chicken fight. Not worth Ophidian’s bad acting to get to that kooky spot. Then, he was distracted by Fire Ant hitting Amasis with the Beach Break on the floor, which led to him stumbling into the CHIKARA Special from Soldier Ant and losing the match at 25:02. Why in this moment was he distracted by his partner being attacked on the floor by a sanctioned opponent when it didn’t happen at any other point in the match? Those irritating moments and the unfortunate match-halting Stone injury set this spotfest back some. ***

January 25, 2009 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 

Amasis & Ophidian def. Fire Ant & Soldier Ant {CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas Match}
From CHIKARA Revelation X. This was the semi-main event of the 2009 season opener. Much like Dragon Gate, CHIKARA was influenced enough by lucha libre (though given how much Mike Quackenbush called Dragon Gate move names on commentary, I think it’s more likely he was a Toryumon/DG fan more than straight up lucha) that their tag matches use lucha rules/scramble rules. So you only have to leave the ring for your partner to become legal. But in all of the matches I’ve seen so far in CHIKARA, even that rule is ignored and things like the referee stereo counting both partners pinning their opponents at the same time happens. I hate that. But in this match, that’s the only thing I hate. The teams’ offense complimented each other incredibly well. Importantly, Ophidian didn’t do anything stupid. Rather, Amasis was the focus for his team, faking an injury successfully once and unsuccessfully once, leading to a moment where you thought for sure the Colony would win the titles. There was some of the usual goofy stuff, but it played well here because it was executed well. Ophidian countered what I’m guessing was going to be a superplex to an avalanche Canadian Destroyer, and then put on the Death Grip for the win at 18:52. **** 

May 24, 2009 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 

Fire Ant & Soldier Ant def. Chuck Taylor & Icarus {Mask vs. Hair Match}
From CHIKARA Aniversario Yang. Aside from a couple of random matches in BJW against each other, this was the end of the year-long Team FIST vs. Colony feud for a few years. It’s nice to bookend this review with matches between the teams. Is Gran Akuma offended that Taylor & Icarus so badly don’t want to look like him? I think this is one of those matches like Raven & Stevie Richards vs. the Pitbulls in ECW, or Tye Dillinger vs. Eric Young in NXT, or any Vince McMahon match at WrestleMania, where you’re going to get a LOT more out of this if you were following the whole feud than if not. For me, the first half of the match was slow and meandering, and the table spot that sent Soldier Ant to the back wasn’t that devastating looking. Did they not do a lot of table spots in CHIKARA? It’s very possible that every other company overusing the table made this less impactful for me here. I also don’t know the significance of a new Ant debuting to save the day near the end. But the second half of the match was very exciting, and it was nice to get more and more foamed up as the crowd did for a Colony win. Fire Ant hit Taylor with a pair of Beach Breaks for the win at 23:17. ***½ 

The Colony used this win, plus a win over the Order of the Neo Solar Temple at a show in Japan, and a win against 2.0 at the Young Lion’s Cup to earn another shot at the Osirian Portal’s tag titles. Kevin Ford says that match is pretty dope too. I’m glad the Colony is on this list, because they clearly had a passionate following and both guys went on to bigger things. But don’t expect to be enamored with them if you’re not into hijinks.