July 29, 2021 – Newham, London
Jordan Devlin def. Tristan Archer
I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but ever since they’ve started using canned crowd noise on this show, they’ve repeatedly used a sound effect that sounds like someone wheezing or sneezing after medium impact spots. It’s insanely irritating once you notice it. It can be heard at 5:22 and 7:08, and also about half a dozen other times during the match. Archer looked good again in the brief moments he was in control, but this was a squash for Devlin. He hit the Devlin Side at 5:40. After the match, Devlin said that he demanded of Johnny Saint that A-Kid’s career be on the line in their upcoming Iron Man matches. A-Kid came out on crutches, but it was all a ruse and he stands fine without them and beats up Devlin. Their match will be next week. **
We get hype for Aiofe Valkyrie vs. Jinny and WALTER vs. Ilja Dragunov II. Then, Meiko Satomura bursts into the women’s locker room and beams at how easily she’s able to make them turn on one another. I love her! Notably, Emilia McKenzie walked out rather than get caught up in the drama. Later, we get another in what now feels like an endless string of segments hyping a Joe Coffey vs. Rampage Brown rubber match. Just announce the damn match already. This is the fifth week they’ve talked about it. Later still, we learn that Jack Starz and Dave Mastiff are a tag team now.
Jinny def. Aiofe Valkyrie
It’s weird to see Conners as a lackey like this after watching him as a main eventer in a couple of British indies. I think he’s better suited to the role he has here, but he definitely performed better when he was on top of a roster. I heard the wheeze nine times during this match. This was pretty solid, especially by Jinny’s standards, but it ended with a distraction finish because of course it did. Conners distracted Valkyrie, allowing Jinny to hit the Koppo Kick for the win at 7:01. **½
Stevie Turner def. Aleah James
It’s been four months since we last saw James, which sucks because she’s better than a lot of the NXT UK women’s roster. Turner last popped up a month ago. And it’s a total squash in her favor. God dammit, let James do something! Turner won with a Flatliner at 4:27. N/A
Tyler Bate & Trent Seven def. Primate & T-Bone
Mustache Mountain match is fun, news at 11. At this point I believe that Bate & Seven could drag a good tag team match out of anyone. Even Eddie Dennis’s interference here worked, and the match was short enough that Symbiosis never had a chance to wade beyond their depths. Bate kneedropped Primate into Seven’s Birminghammer for the win at 10:54. After the match, Pretty Deadly came out to mug at the winners. Yeah, I’d watch that match. ***