April 2, 2020 – Coventry, West Midlands
Kay Lee Ray & Jinny def. Dani Luna & Piper Niven
I didn’t expect much from this given how lifeless Niven’s promos were in the build to it. She just seems tuned out. As such, the match was generally more fun when Luna was in the ring, though Niven did have a short, exciting comeback bit. This ended in 7:09 when KLR hit Luna with the Gory Bomb. **½
NXT UK is now like every other WWE brand as they have to stall. Next week’s episode is called the Rise of NXT UK, and it’s looking like it’s going to be a documentary. As there are only six NXT UK matches left in the can after this episode, I’m not at all surprised they’re doing this. Then we get another look at Gallus, which is a bit odd as only Joe Coffey is in the battle royal tonight and Gallus has no matches in the can.
Xia Brookside def. Amale
This is Brookside’s first time on TV in like five months. This was nothing. Amale controlled a lot of it with a chinlock, but Brookside came back for the win with the Broken Wings, a lungblower onto the feet instead of the knees, at 2:58. N/A
Ilja Dragunov def. Tyler Bate, Trent Seven, Joe Coffey, Noam Dar, Tyson T-Bone, Dave Mastiff, Kassius Ohno, Travis Banks, Jordan Devlin, Saxon Huxley, Flash Morgan Webster, A-Kid, Kenny Williams, Amir Jordan, Ashton Smith, Ridge Holland, Alexander Wolfe, Ligero, and Oliver Carter {Number One Contender Battle Royal}
In a nice change of pace, everyone noticed that Holland, Mastiff, and Ohno were the three biggest guys in the match and separated themselves from them at the start. Ohno tried to blend in and got himself eliminated first as a result. Williams has the dishonor of being eliminated by the jobber Huxley. Coffey sent Webster flying out of the match. Jordan got some revenge for his pal by eliminating Huxley. Kid saved himself from elimination by landing on Huxley and getting back in the ring. That’s a nice, Royal Rumble-worthy spot. Banks messes with T-Bone and eliminates him. Mastiff clotheslined Banks to the floor. He dumped Jordan too. Holland eliminated both Smith & Carter, despite their nice effort to stay in. Mastiff sent Ligero flying onto them. Joseph Conners showed up on the floor and distracted Holland, which left him open to be eliminated by Dragunov and Coffey. Then, Coffey and Dragunov renewed their hostilities. Mustache Mountain hit stereo airplane spins on Kid and Devlin, then fought each other I think for the first time ever on this show. Coffey sneaks up and eliminates Seven. Devlin and Kid have a dope exchange that ends with Devlin headbutting Kid to the floor. Things really picked up from there. Devlin cleaned house but then Dar snuck up and eliminated him. There’s your next big Cruiserweight Championship match if there’s any continuity post Coronavirus. Mastiff gets dumped by everyone else. Bate spins Dar to the floor. The remaining four guys brawled and suplexed until Wolfe used Dragunov to eliminate Coffey. Dragunov eliminated Wolfe after Bate softened him up. Surprising to no one, the final stretch between Bate and Dragunov was fantastic, and ended when Dragunov knocks Bate off the apron with Torpedo Moskau at 28:37. There was a bunch of neat stuff that I didn’t write about in this. It was worlds better than your average battle royal all the way through. Some battle royals try to change things up just at the end, but this gave us something to keep us interested as we went and I appreciate that. Superlative battle royal that set up plenty of possible angles down the road, if NXT UK makes it through COVID. ***½