WWE ECW 58

July 17, 2007 – Laredo, Texas

The show starts with some dude saying on behalf of Johnny Nitro that this will be Nitro’s last night on ECW.

CM Punk def. Elijah Burke
Punk & Richards wrestled each other six times on TV. This is Punk’s fifth TV match against Burke (counting PPV) and they’re not done yet. This match made me realize that they really peaked with their 2/3 fall bout, because this had none of the charm that that did. And it lasted almost as long. I get that they were determined to make Burke into a watchable wrestler, but it just wasn’t going to happen. **¼

Big Daddy V def. Tim Storm
This was just a squash. N/A

Miz comes to the ring to cut a pat prettyboy heel promo and then call out Extreme Expose. They want to dance for him. The whole gimmick here is that Brooke is supposed to have a crush on him, but she’s stone-faced throughout the thing. And also they leave as soon as they’re done dancing. How is this an angle?

Kevin Thorn def. Tommy Dreamer
More of this crap, I guess. If I never see another match between someone who was an ECW Original vs. someone who was in the New Breed it will be too soon. There was absolutely nothing of note happening here. Thorn beats up Dreamer more after the match. That doesn’t make up for the match being so boring and isn’t a reasonable way to start a feud between these two. *

Johnny Nitro’s press agent from before comes out to say that the reason Nitro will never be on ECW again is because he’ll no longer be known as Johnny Nitro. Nitro comes with his hair dry for the first time ever, embracing how much he looks like Jim Morrison, and calling himself John Morrison. He claims that is his legal name. He goes over all his childhood accomplishments, like walking at 4 months old and skipping two grades. Speaking of names, Morrison guesses at what the CM in CM Punk means, twice guessing at (or close to) the real origins of the initials. Punk comes out but Morrison hits him with a cheap shot and then lays him out.

Okay, on to the PPV.

July 22, 2007 – San Jose, California

John Morrison def. CM Punk {ECW Championship Match}
This was going along nicely enough, albeit kind of flat, and then the finish was a real dud. Morrison kicked Punk’s knee during a Punk springboard and got the win off of it, even though it didn’t look like much of anything. To his credit, Punk sells the knee well after the fact. Man, what a bummer. **¾