WWE ECW 18

October 10, 2006 – Wichita, Kansas

Balls Mahoney is hosting extreme strip poker with the women of all three brands. It’s Trinity, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Candice Michelle, Ashley, and Kristal. Mahoney then explains that they’re not playing poker, it’s just a game of draw where everyone takes one card and the person with the lowest one wins. Never say WWE overestimated their audience. Ashley loses the first round. They interrupt matches throughout the night to show this over and over again on half the screen.

CM Punk def. Rene Dupree
The match is just an excuse for Joey Styles to make boner jokes about strip poker. Punk wins relatively easily, and I wonder why we spent months watching those Dupree hype segments. *

Tommy Dreamer def. Kevin Thorn
They did another segment with the ladies in between this and the previous match, but this match is still completely overshadowed by stripping. It’s not much of a loss since it’s a Thorn match. I guess we needed Jobber Dreamer to get his win back? Wouldn’t it have been more worthwhile to let Punk end Thorn’s undefeated streak as he did to Dupree’s win streak earlier in the night? ¾*

After a video package chronicling Hardcore Holly’s last two weeks, we go back to the poker game where Kelly gets naked but because this is basic cable nothing is shown and did WWE think the fans would be tricked into thinking anything more than this would happen? Were people tricked? How much of their audience is idiot twelve-year-olds? Probably a lot. I hate my prolonged adolescent fandoms.

Rob Van Dam, Sabu & Sandman vs. Big Show, Matt Striker & Test
Not even the main event is spared from half-screen stripping. The match wasn’t bad per se, but it wasn’t exciting for long stretches of the thing. The finish was a bit of goofy fun, with RVD having the thing in the bag but giving the win to Sandman just for the hell of it, and I guess because Striker did the same thing last week. **½

The strip poker thing ends with Candice and Maria stripping each other’s clothes off and fighting, though it’s all blurred out. Mahoney is excited about it, but this hour-long segment ended with a fight between two women who aren’t on this show.