WWE ECW 13

September 5, 2006 – Columbus, Georgia

Rob Van Dam & Sabu def. Mike Knox & Test {Extreme Rules Match}
On the one hand, this made Tommy Dreamer & Sandman look like a couple of goofs for having so much trouble dealing with Knox & Test. On the other hand, this is the best match there’s been on this show not involving Ric Flair. Almost nothing looked contrived or botched, the violence felt intense, and the good guys got to look competent in a rather satisfying way. I didn’t expect anything going into this, but it got me and the crowd riled up. ***½

Ariel and Kevin Thorn are basically just doing porn for kids who have SafeSearch turned on.

Matt Striker comes to the ring to out himself as a republican. Odd that he’d use that to draw heel heat on Vince McMahon’s show. He calls out Sandman and then bails before he gets to the ring.

Steven Richards def. Balls Mahoney
Thorn & Ariel attempt to sexually assault Joey Styles before the match, and then they watch the thing while sitting next to him. The match is just an excuse for Tazz to make veiled rape jokes at Styles’ expense. Thorn attacks Mahoney, leading to Richards getting the win. *

Shannon Moore tries to cut his sixth backstage promo in nine weeks, but CM Punk approaches him, calls him a poser, and slaps him.

Shawn Michaels & Triple H def. Big Show {Handicap Match}
This was meant to be an extreme rules match, but Heyman made it a traditional match before it began. The commentators don’t know if that helps or hurts the Big Show, which means it was a stupid thing to do from a storytelling perspective. This wasn’t much of anything, and then Hardcore Holly runs out and attacks D-Generation X, drawing a disqualification. Yep, bad storytelling. DX wins the day in the end, fighting off everyone. Heyman’s helmet-wearing security allows Triple H to finally swing the sledgehammer in a way he’s surely always wanted to, so there’s that. *½