WWE ECW 12

August 29, 2006 – Reading, Pennsylvania

Paul Heyman starts the show by saying that he needs to put down Sabu himself, so he’s going to do so in his first ever ECW match, which will be held under extreme rules.

Hardcore Holly def. Rob Van Dam
This was a perfectly fine match until the lame disqualification finish, in which Holly brought a chair to the ring but RVD ended up using it on Holly in front of the referee. RVD hits Holly with the chair again after the match. **¼

Rene Dupree says he’s debuting soon. Also, Shannon Moore still hasn’t debuted and he’s still looking and sounding dumb as hell backstage. It’s been two months of this crap.

Big Show comes out to talk about how dominant he is. He’s aligned with the McMahons against D-Generation X. I guess there’s a 3-on-2 handicap match favoring Big Show and the McMahons coming up on PPV, but because Show is so dominant he challenges Triple H & Shawn Michaels to fight him 2-on-1 next week on this show. This show is so weird to binge, because stuff happens on Raw and Smackdown that has nothing to do with this brand but takes up time on this brand (this, Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley).

CM Punk def. Steven Richards
They’re still labeling him Steven on his entrance graphic while calling him Stevie on the mic. This was a nice showing for Punk, allowing him to get in most of his stuff while establishing him as more of a plucky underdog than in his short, nothing matches against Justin Credible. **½

Matt Striker comes out to cut his first in-ring promo, but he’s addressing the crowd as if he’s done this before. So this is dead on arrival. He craps on Sandman. Sandman comes out so Striker attacks him with a stapler and then bails.

Balls Mahoney’s promo is interrupted by Kelly Kelly, who is able to flash Mahoney since her boyfriend Mike Knox isn’t around. Mahoney is really geeked out.

They show a video package for Kurt Angle, run down his accolades in the company, and then reveal that Angle has been let go from the company. This is so much nicer than the treatment most guys get when they leave the company and makes me surprised that it took so long for Angle to return.

Paul Heyman def. Sabu {Extreme Rules Match}
Because of the stipulation, Heyman is able to be protected by his security team and Big Show. The beating goes on forever and none of the ECW originals come to Sabu’s aid. Tazz makes a pretty anti-semitic comment against Heyman during the match, so that’s just the icing on the cake. After what feels like an eternity, RVD runs out and evens things up for a minute, but Holly comes out to put him through a table. Then Show puts Heyman on Sabu for the win. Give this five minutes instead of ten and it would have been pretty fun. As it is, it was a total slog. The show ends with Show taunting DX, just so we know that what we’ve just watched doesn’t really matter. ½*