September 14, 2016 – Los Angeles, California
I just realized that season three is forty episodes. That’s daunting, but also I’m watching during the 2020 pandemic so it’s not like I’m short on time to watch this shit. Back at Ultima Lucha Dos before Dario Cueto’s arrest, Ricky Reyes is upset that Mr. Cisco got killed. He yells at Captain Vasquez and fights with Joey Ryan. Vasquez says there’s a war coming, but they’ve said that so many times about so many wars and we’ve never seen any wars. I want to see a war! Also, this segment makes it seem like this team didn’t arrest Cueto because Vasquez didn’t want that to happen; so who made the arrest?
Dr. Wagner Jr. def. Mascarita Sagrada
Wagner still has Famous B and Beautiful Brenda with him. Wagner hits the Michinoku Driver for the win at 55 seconds. Barely a match. *
A millenia ago, a little Aztec girl watched her father die. He also said a war was coming before giving her an amulet, the Piedra Immortal. It gives the power of immortality to anyone who wears it. It turns out that the little girl is Vasquez, though she only has half of the amulet today. The night of Cueto’s arrest, she tells Reyes that the tape of Cisco’s murder made its way to the commissioner, so the cops are going to arrest Cueto. Reyes is stoked, but Vasquez is pissed. She says Cueto was the link to lead her to her real enemy and she suspends Reyes.
Mil Muertes def. Argenis
Catrina must have the other half of that amulet, right? I thought she was going to end up being that little Aztec girl, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Anyway, this was another squash. I guess the main event is getting some time. Muertes wins in 1:35 with the Flatliner. After the match, Prince Puma sneaks out and attacks Muertes. Catrina shields Muertes from Puma. *½
Last week, Cueto returned to his office only to be surprised by Ryan. Ryan admits he’s a cop and that he knows Cueto killed Cisco. He wants to be on Cueto’s side in the coming war. He rats out Reyes to gain Cueto’s trust, and then shakes him down for child support money. I love that this show just went full speed into flashbacks and embraced its telenovela nature. Back in the present, Reyes comes to Vasquez and tells her he’ll be loyal to her. I wish they’d done a bit more to get us invested in Reyes so that I’d feel anything now that I know he’s in danger.
Killshot def. Marty Martinez {Weapons of Mass Destruction Match}
Killshot is in his typical camo gear, and Martinez has Vietnam-era gear on. The ring is surrounded by fake military weapons, so we get things like Killshot hitting Martinez with a gatling gun rather than, you know, threatening to shoot him with it. It’s kinda dumb. But most of the match is actually a good garbage brawl, even if I could have done without the chairshot to Martinez’s head (I watched the Chris Benoit episode of Dark Side of the Ring earlier today). Normally I also wouldn’t like someone kicking out of a Storm Cradle Driver, but this is a big feud-ender so Martinez surviving the JML Driver felt okay. This match featured the tallest ladder I’ve ever seen in a wrestling match. Mariposa tried to interfere, but Killshot knocked her off of the ladder through a table. Then the finish was incredible, as Killshot climbed over the ladder, got his dog tags back, and stomped Martinez off the ladder through a table for the win at 22:23. You really owe it to yourself to watch at least the finish to this match. ****¼
Muertes trashes the locker room and screams for Puma. Catrina then shows that she indeed does have the other half of the amulet. Boom, roasted.