Lucha Underground: Rise of the Ring Announcer

September 20, 2017 – Los Angeles, California

Fenix trains Melissa Santos in a practice ring. She teases a kiss, and then asks to see him without his mask. He won’t do it, as the mask is everything to him. She says he’s Fenix with or without the mask. She says he doesn’t have to worry about losing it, and then spins him into a kiss. Cute. 

Dante Fox def. Texano
Famous B does ring announcing as he’s still trying to court Texano, and Santos is prepping for her match. Killshot watches the match from the balcony. This was pretty dope. Texano tried to keep Fox grounded with lariats, but Fox was more than game to eat the abuse and come back for more. B misunderstands a Texano near-fall and announces him as the winner. The distraction gives Fox the roll up win at 5:39. Terrible finish to a good match. **¾ 

Afterwards, Texano goes to beat up B, but Cueto stops him because B is the ring announcer for the night. But at Ultima Lucha Tres, Texano can fight B. B complains that his arm is still broken. Cueto says that if B can pull out a miraculous win, Texano’s contract will belong to him. Texano isn’t worried. 

In Cueto’s office, Son of Havoc says he’s going to win the Gift of the Gods Championship tonight so he can make the main event of Ultima Lucha a triple threat match. Pentagon Dark stares him down (that’s one way to shoehorn in an Ultima Lucha match) and then promises to break everyone’s arms tonight. Finally alone, Cueto picks up the big red phone and calls for main event medics. 

Marty Martinez & Mariposa def. Fenix & Melissa Santos
I notice here that Fenix & Santos have an armed guard take them through the fans on the balcony. I need to see if everyone has that because the gun in that dude’s holster caught me way off guard. The incest gimmick continued here for the Martinez siblings about halfway into the match, and from there things stayed pretty goofy. Santos was clearly out of her element, but the effort was there and she didn’t do anything embarrassing. I don’t understand the point of Santos losing here, as she’d never be in a match again and it’s not like her losing makes Fenix and his mask any more vulnerable in his Ultima Lucha match. The Martinezes hit her with an elevated Pedigree for the win at 9:03. Martinez threatens to stab or cut Santos’s hair but Fenix puts a stop to that. **½ 

They run down the Ultima Lucha card, to take place over four episodes:
Matanza Cueto vs. El Dragon Azteca in a Cage Match
Ivelisse vs. Catrina
Fenix vs. Martinez in a Mask vs. Hair Match
Sexy Star vs. Taya in a Last Luchadora Standing Match
Killshot vs. Dante Fox in a Hell of War Match (3 Stages of Hell Match)
Prince Puma vs. Johnny Mundo in a Career vs. Title Match
And we know Texano vs. Famous B is happening as well, though it’s not mentioned here, and probably a couple other matches will be booked because this is a little light for four episodes (five TV hours) and there are a couple of storylines that don’t have matches yet.

Pentagon Dark and Son of Havoc def. Paul London, Mala Suerte, Saltador, Cortez Castro, and Drago {Gift of the Gods Championship Match}
This lasted fewer minutes than there were people in the match, so the match was as frantic as you’d expect it to be. It was annoying to see guys standing patiently on the floor or apron, waiting for their turn to come in for a spot. The commentary also beefs it by saying that Drago, a current champion in the company, has had a stagnant career since joining the Reptile Tribe. There’s a better way to say he’s on the wrong path than to call a champion’s career stagnant. Havoc hit a Shooting Star press on London the same time that Dark hit a Package Piledriver on Saltador and the referee counted for both of them at 6:39. I mean, that’s the crappy referee’s fault. Cueto comes out and makes the predictable match between Dark and Havoc at Ultima Lucha in a ladder match for the Gift of the Gods Championship. **½

Cueto gets in a limo with Agent Winter with the gauntlet. Winter is mad because Cueto said that Cage was perfect for the gauntlet. Cueto is having second thoughts, so he’s going to have Cage fight Jeremiah Crane and Mil Muertes for the gauntlet at Ultima Lucha. He thinks Crane or Muertes would both make good hosts for the evil god in the gauntlet. Cueto promises that if Cage wins and fails to be a host, Winter or the evil god himself (it’s hard to tell who Cueto is referring to) can come to the Temple and destroy Cage himself.