April 6, 2018 – New Orleans, Louisiana
This was a WrestleCon show. Melissa Santos and the Impact’s McKenzie Mitchell come out to hype the crowd. Santos swears a bunch. This usually happens before the camera starts rolling for a reason. One reason is the house mics are almost impossible to hear on the stream. What bush league nonsense, and sadly a sign of things to come for Lucha Underground. Mitchell wasn’t even Impact’s ring announcer, so she was totally out of place in the ring. Maybe she should cut a promo about football or Halloween.
Matanza Cueto def. Chavo Guerrero, Jack Evans, Caleb Konley, Matt Sydal, and Moose {Six Way Match}
The crowd chants for Eddie Guerrero when Chavo comes out, so that’s what we’re in for tonight. Evans is bald. Oh my god why is everything wrong? Speaking of, I mentioned in my Ultima Lucha Tres review that Matanza Cueto had run his course as a character. Nothing proves that more than having him be just a guy in a six-way opening match on a crossover show. Without the blood on his coveralls that’s especially true. This production is so bootleg that the commentators (Matt Striker & Josh Matthews, god help me) try to come up with a hashtag for the show on the fly and never settle on one. People make fun of WWE for shilling their social media so blatantly, but their marketing team understands how to make them successful on those platforms. Striker says the quiet part out loud when he accidentally calls out Evans for no-selling after dives. The match was a series of bland dives and then Cueto hitting the Wrath of the Gods on Conley for the win at 6:40. And then Cueto just leaves because the character is dead so why not have him follow the rules of the show? Guerrero cuts a promo but it’s impossible to make it out. The commentators say he was announcing the season 4 premiere date. But he’s been banned from the Temple so why is he making that announcement? I have a bad feeling about this. **
I’m skipping the Allie vs. Taya Valkyrie Impact Knockouts Championship Match because Taya is fully in her Impact gimmick and isn’t billed as a Lucha Underground wrestler. And I’m skipping the Scott Steiner & Teddy Hart vs. oVe match because of course I am.
Aerostar, Drago & King Cuerno def. Andrew Everett, Dezmond Xavier & DJ Z
Cool cool cool, just have Aerostar and Drago team up again with no explanation. Great. The LU team makes no sense. Matt Striker fully ignores the feud between the two in LU and says they’re the Lucha Superfriends. NOT FOR A LONG TIME NOW, MATTHEW! This was very lucha-ish, in that the action was consistently fast-paced and also in that there was a lot of incredibly contrived and over-choreographed action. Aregenis got to hit his fun bits and Cuerno did his best to keep things grounded, so there was enough to enjoy here. Cuerno tapped Everett to an Indian Deathlock at 10:14. ***
Trevor Lee def. Marty Martinez
This was scheduled to be Lee vs. Famous B, but Lee came out with Conley so B pulled a bait and switch and had Martinez wrestle for him. This was WWE house-show level silly. That is to say it wasn’t goofy enough to be a comedy match but not serious enough to be compelling. Lee won with a tight-assisted roll up at 5:10. Striker emphasizes that B and Martinez had a one-day contract, which is another way of saying that this show is meaningless and I’m wasting my time reviewing it. *½
Ortiz & Santana def. The Mack & Killshot {Impact Tag Team Championship Match}
Mack was clearly having a great time here, dancing and jiggling around the ring to hype the crowd. The challengers did something that’s rarely done; they pulled off a double team move I’ve never seen that I also liked. Killshot had Ortiz on his shoulders, pulled him up to the second turnbuckle, and then threw him into Mack’s Pounce. They also did a Killstomp Bomb. This match got me stoked for the tenure of these two as Lucha Underground Trios Champions in season 4. Sadly, shortly after that Ortiz botched a slam and killed the momentum and the crowd. It screwed up the flow of the finish, which ended with the champs hitting Killshot with a Blockbuster Bomb for the win at 13:14. ***¼
I’m going to skip the Cage vs. Eli Drake match for the same reason I skipped the Taya match. Why not have him just be Cage so this could be another interpromotional match? Why do the commentators ignore his LU tenure? Anyway, I did like Drake’s old school promo before the match.
Jeremiah Crane def. Eddie Edwards {I Quit Match}
I can’t wrap my head around why Callihan is using his LU gimmick but Cage and Taya didn’t. These two would go on to feud a lot in Impact, but this here was only their second match in the Impact wrestling universe. An I quit match as the first stipulation match in the rivalry seems like overkill, but then apparently Edwards’ wife was involved in the feud. Matthews has trouble on commentary squaring that Sami Callihan is meant to be Crane here, and calls him Callhan throughout the match. Striker did his best, which again (and I know I’m beating a dead horse) makes me wonder why Cage and Taya couldn’t have been LU. They also don’t call the match, but rather get into a debate about whether it’s better for the wrestlers to do extreme things for the press at the expense of their victims. But the match was shaping up to be a solid brawl, but then it went on way too long. Near the end of the match, Striker noted that Edwards seemed calm given the animosity in the feud. That’s a nice way of saying that Edwards isn’t holding up his end of the drama. But then Edwards does make a Solomon Crowe call, so that’s fun. oVe interfered, Crane started no-selling everything, and then won at 20:14 when Don Callis threw in the towel on behalf of Edwards. This needed about two-thirds the amount of time it got and it would have been way better had they tightened it up rather than losing all their steam in the last five minutes. That finish sucked too. Edwards smiled as he left. Has he gotten better since this? Because he was a charisma black hole here. **¼
Pentagon Dark def. Austin Aries and Fenix {Triple Threat Match}
Why on earth couldn’t this be for Dark’s title if he was winning anyway and Fenix was in there as a fall guy? Aries’ gimmick was that he was a belt collector (he came out with five belts here), so it’d make sense. I guess making sense doesn’t make sense on this show. It was meant to be a tag team match with Alberto El Patron on Aries’ team, but Patron no-showed and then got fired from Impact. Seems a good opportunity for a title match for all the reasons I mentioned above! This reminded me a lot of the triple threat match that the Lucha Brothers had with Drago early in in LU. This was about as good as that, which is to say it had some wild action as well as some moments that were tough to believe (in a bad way). A lot of Aries’ offense requires his opponent to let him do whatever he wants to them for too long. But this had the Lucha Brothers doing fun tandem stuff here, whereas in LU they wrestled strictly as opponents. Dark wins at 10:24 with a pumphandle piledriver on Fenix. So Lucha Underground goes up 4-2, though with Dark pinning Fenix there’s at least an asterisk here. Also nobody seemed to be keeping track so I guess it was all just for fun. ***½
From Diamond Ring Kensuke Office Changes. They emphasize that Nakajima beat Dragon Gate wrestler Kenichiro Arai
From Dynamite 131. This is a qualifying match for the Owen Hart Foundation tournament. Joe debuted at ROH Supercard of Honor, saving Jonathan Gresham from Jay Lethal (whose soul searching apparently led him to turn heel) & Sonjay Dutt after the main event. And now that ROH and AEW are the same thing, that seems worth mentioning. Caster’s pre-match rap was cute. This was real squashy, with Joe needing only two minutes to put Caster down with the Muscle Buster at 2:52. Lethal & Dutt pop up on the big screens and Lethal says he’d been trying to get a hold of Joe during his difficult soul searching time, and Joe never picked up. They have a present for Joe next week. N/A
From Dynamite 132. Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt were in the front row cheering on Joe. Sarcastically, probably, as they brawled with Joe at ROH Supercard of Honor XV.
From Rampage 39.
From Dynamite 137.
From Dynamite 138. This is a
From Double or Nothing.
From PWF York Cougar Football Fundraiser. I didn't know that this match happened until over a month after the fact. This started out as a non-title match, but we'll get to why I've listed it as a title match in a moment. FTR have Mick Foley in their corner while their opponents have Bill Behrens. I’ve never actually seen Behrens do an on-camera gig before. He's holding a tennis racket, presumably as an Umaga to Jim Cornette. But it's confusing because there was actually a tennis player named Bill Behrens. They announce this match as having a 20-minute time limit. Only 11 minutes in, they say there are three minutes remaining. Until then, this was as run-of-the-mill as a modern FTR match gets. But the announcement snapped everyone out of their heat-on-Wheeler funk and forced them to go for desperate pins. They announce ten seconds remaining a couple of times, but no one can get the roll up pin they're looking for. The 20-minute time limit expires at 1
From NXT UK 183. McGuinness started by essentially saying that Fraser is going to pee or poo himself during the match. Unnecessary. Had Shawn Michaels been game to have a good match against Vader, this is what it would have looked like. Actually, a more appropriate and modern analogue is Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins from SummerSlam. Much like that match, Frazer used quick strikes and avoided his larger opponent’s signature big move to stay alive. Here it was the powerbomb whereas there it was suplexes. Here, Frazer also successfully damaged WALTER’s knee, which slowed the big man down and made it hard for WALTER to hit the powerbomb. Unfortunately for Frazer, WALTER was able to bide his time and clothesline Frazer’s legs out from under him. An inevitable powerbomb followed and won the match for WALTER at 14:02. I hate to say this because I’m happy that he’s healthier, but the way WALTER has slimmed down has taken some of the magic away from his aura. At least for me it has. That said, dude can clearly still go as well as ever in the ring. ****
From NXT 659. Strong was feeling it here, which is thanks in large part to the crowd being maniacally loud from the get go I’m sure. His whole game was fast and devastating stick and move attacks. That worked pretty well, as WALTER was dazed from time to time. But as with all good WALTER matches (which is pretty much all WALTER matches), everything WALTER does is devastating here so it takes very little for him to take back control. And eventually he did just that and hit the powerbomb for the win at 9:46 (shown of 12:18). After the match, WALTER gets on the microphone and says that his name is Gunther now. I did not think WALTER would be a victim of the renaming curse this far into his run. What will they rename Strong?! ***¾
From NXT UK 185. Andy Shepherd helpfully announces from inside the ring that the reason for the stipulation is that the feud has gotten so violent that it wouldn’t be safe to have fans around. Devlin says during the match that it’s because he thinks Dragunov could only muster the energy to win if he had the crowd behind him. I like that explanation a lot more. The only real reason I could think of to do this without fans is that there was a scheduling conflict with one of the wrestlers for the regular TV taping date and they needed to get this thing filmed. We just had such a long stretch of empty arena NXT UK episodes that I can’t imagine anyone was dying to get another taste of it. This aired the day after Adam Cole vs. Orange Cassidy in a match that was also no disqualification and falls count anywhere, and this served up everything I felt was missing from that match. Now you might say, “Brad, Cassidy is not the same kind of character as Devlin or Dragunov, how could you expect the same level of violence or intensity?” To that I say, when Cassidy started his match by breaking his own sunglasses and rapidly punching Cole, he was indicating that level of violence and/or intensity. And instead the match was mostly wacky. Anyway, this was not wacky. It was stiff and intense and featured weapons that made sense and spots the didn’t take forever to set up. Dragunov got in trouble when his eye injury acted up. Devlin took control and beat the crap out of him. I wasn’t wild about how meek Dragunov was when Devlin was zip tying his hands, but I did like that in the end it turned out to be an error on Devlin’s part anyway because Dragunov’s finisher requires no hands. And indeed, a bound Dragunov jumped off the steel steps (which had been brought into the ring) and hit the Torpedo Moskau on Devlin for the win at 21:43. NXT UK is still sneaking in these dope matches that no one is watching. Y’all should watch them. ****¼
From AAA Triplemania Regia. FTR come out with Vickie Guerrero. This was supposed to be explained at an earlier AAA taping but FTR and Guerrero all missed them. AAA is notorious for having this kind of luck/being incompetent lately. FTR is also wearing Eddie Guerrero tribute tights, with American flags on one side and flames on the other, I suppose to pay homage to his Gringos Locos and Latino Heat gimmicks. This match mostly sucked, but one cool spot saw FTR tie Pentagon’s mask to the ropes and force him to unmask with his hands over his face to stop them from climbing the ladder. That would have been a very meaningful moment to lead up to the Lucha Brothers winning the titles back, but unfortunately instead it led into nothing. He just got his mask back and the match continued on in its lame, derivative way. At one point, Pentagon was the only man standing, but instead of climbing the ladder he grabbed a table from the floor. So the titles mean enough to him that he’d unmask to stop his opponents from winning, but not enough for him to get the titles when he had a clear path to do it? Vickie powered Pentagon, causing him to voluntarily jump through the table and Harwood grabbed the belts at 12:12. This was abysmal. *
From AEW Full Gear. Silver was hamming it up a lot more here than he was the year before in New York. That said, this had stronger just-a-match vibes than the aforementioned match. After Silver ripped out Cassidy’s pockets, Cassidy turned up the heat and these guys put on a middle of the row undercard match. Not bad by any means, but nothing memorable either. Cassidy hit the Beach Break rather out of nowhere for the win at 9:42. **¾
From the second Honor Reigns Supreme. The commentators sold this as Gresham getting a big shot against a top ROH guy after being an also-ran in the Television Championship division for a while. This was terrific. Both guys did a fantastic job selling their respective targeted limbs, and Gresham in particular played the role of the tenacious underdog perfectly. He didn’t just watch to see where Lethal would have trouble executing his finisher because of the damage he’d done to the former ROH Champion’s arm, he pressed the assault whenever he could, taking out the arm to make sure the Lethal Injection would never come. But what he couldn’t do was stop Lethal from battering his knee and ultimately winning with a Figure 4 Leglock at 17:54. ****¼
From the second Masters of the Craft. Columbus has way more Gresham fans than Concord did. That’s a neat little advancement to the plot, innit? They both went after the same limbs that earned them dividends in their previous match. And then they went ahead and built an incredible match out of that story. At first it seemed as though Lethal wasn’t going to be able to get Gresham’s leg to give out. But about halfway through the match, Gresham’s knee was in trouble. Gresham was able to escape the leglock this time by using the momentum of Lethal pulling him away from the ropes to shift to an armbar. But Gresham’s focus on the arm bit him in the ass. Lethal went for the Lethal Injection and collapsed again, but when Gresham went for a roll up after that Lethal cut back on it for the win at 18:27. This is one of the best American examples that I've seen of a match building on the match that came before. Rather than try to outdo the maneuvers from their first meeting for the sake of a big crowd reaction, they adjust their game plans in logical ways that, to me, were just as exciting. I think this match is slept on, by virtue of the fact that I’ve never heard anything about it before watching it. ****½
From ROH Wrestling 364. In real life,
From Death Before Dishonor XVII. Gresham and Lethal had been teaming, but Gresham grew frustrated and started heeling. Ultimately, he turned on Lethal. It took them a little while to get there, but once they got into a groove this was exactly what I wanted from this match. It was back to their old tricks, with Lethal targeting the leg to set up for the Figure 4 Leglock and Gresham targeting the arm to block the Lethal Injection and set up for his Octopus. In the end, Lethal tried the cutback trick that worked for him in Columbus, but Gresham countered to a pin and then put on the gnarliest Octopus for his first win over Lethal at 17:20. This is the best kind of wrestling series. And none of it felt stale because it was a year after they’d wrestled last and because they found ways to energize the old tropes. And that’s not to mention Gresham busting out what I can only describe as a sumo-style assault. Gresham and Lethal make up after the match. ****
From ROH Wrestling 500. During the pandemic, ROH made the most of their empty arena shows by kicking them off with a tournament to crown a champion for the revived Pure Championship. Gresham won the tournament, and this was his fourth defense of the title. Lethal and Gresham were still allies here. In an interesting move, the other match on this milestone episode was two other partners fighting in Jay and Mark Briscoe. They cut to a commercial break about six minutes in, though the action didn’t get beyond (admittedly fast-moving) mat wrestling until the 10-minute mark. That had me thinking this was going to go long, but things took a different turn. Both guys had abused the other’s shoulders, and Lethal used that to his advantage best. He forced Gresham to use his first rope break to stop a pin, and his second to escape a crab. Then, he used the failed Lethal Injection to bait Gresham into a crossface, forcing the champ to use his final rope break. But he made the mistake of giving Gresham a breather and was quickly caught in a head scissor takedown giving Gresham the winning pin at 14:06 (shown of 16:40). For an empty arena match, this held my attention. It was totally different than their previous matches while still using a couple elements from the rivalry to elevate it just a bit. Not essential viewing, but if you’re working your way through their series you shouldn’t skip it. ***¼ 


