Ever wonder what a death rattle looks like? How about one that lasts a year? Doesn’t seem appealing, but that’s what I’m about to watch. This is going to be a long one (it felt like I lived 100 lifetimes watching it), so settle in.
Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff gathered WCW’s bloated roster in the ring and rebooted the company, stripping all the champions of their titles. WWF was referenced incessantly and reverently in the segment where this happened, and insider references were made constantly. Russo made his on-screen debut looking and dressing like some random dude at a bar. They also split the roster into two generational factions. That was such a good idea in theory, but they made the young guys the heels. How insane is that? The reboot segment went on forever.
Imagine if they’d put just the young talent they actually wanted to use in the ring and display them as a ragtag bunch of would-be heroes. Then they had the old guard of Ric Flair, Diamond & Kimberly Page, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth, Sid, Sting, Hulk Hogan and the Outsiders all stand on the ramp in a Justice League type formation as the gods of old that needed to be vanquished. Of course, you’d have to have Bischoff on the side of the old guard fighting Russo and his plucky young guns. This was the place to do that angle, as later attempts at it happened when the ‘80s and ‘90s stars were far too broken down and culturally irrelevant. But they didn’t do that because it really wasn’t about making new stars. It was about flying by the seat of your pants and throwing whatever shit you could at the wall and hoping something stuck.
April 16, 2000 – Chicago, Illinois
Jeff Jarrett def. Diamond Dallas Page {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match}
From the fifth Spring Stampede. This was the finals of a tournament for the title. The veterans are now called the Millionaires Club. How is that not a heel group? And then the one thing WCW had going for it, that main events more or less stayed in the ring, goes out the window as Jarrett and DDP fight through the crowd for no reason other than to kill a few minutes. When they are in the ring, the action is actually totally solid. Jarrett sold well for DDP and then cheated to take control. This wasn’t a no disqualification match, but the rules were very loose as the referee tried to take a chair away from Jarrett rather than disqualify him for using it. This fell apart in the final moments, as the match completely lost focus and turned into nothing but crotch shots and weapon blows. The finish also sucked, as Kimberly turned on DDP in the most brutally obvious and telegraphed turn I’ve ever seen and then Jarrett hit the Stroke for the win at 15:02. **
April 24, 2000 – Rochester, New York
Diamond Dallas Page def. Jeff Jarrett {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match}
From Monday Nitro 240. Oh my god, Mark Madden is so annoying. He makes me long for Joey Styles, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker. Good thing they set up the cage for a five-minute match in which half of the thing took place in the crowd. I do like this regular-sized cage with a roof aesthetic and wish there were more cage matches in this structure. After two minutes in the ring, Mike Awesome tried to interfere but Chris Kanyon stopped him (sort of) and DDP hit the Diamond Cutter for the win at 4:59. ½*
April 26, 2000 – Syracuse, New York
David Arquette & Diamond Dallas Page def. Jeff Jarrett & Eric Bischoff {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Tag Team Match}
From Thunder 108. Time and the fact that this title doesn’t exist anymore have been kind to my feelings on this move. Arquette being genuinely afraid of the pyro also helps. And the fake injury makeup he wore more and more of throughout the show was cartoony. And let’s face it, at this point more people have probably accidentally watched Ready to Rumble on cable than were watching WCW at the time. I mean, this was the third title change in as many days, so it’s not like the belt could have been devalued more. As far as this review series goes, I needed a little humor. But at the time, this was a disaster. Kimberly was the guest referee and she won’t make counts for DDP. This is pretty much a handicap match until Arquette comes back and hits Bischoff with a spear before another referee runs in and counts the pin for him at 3:35. For me the most egregious part of the match is DDP being happy that his tag team partner won the title off of him. ½*
May 7, 2000 – Kansas City, Missouri
Jeff Jarrett def. David Arquette and Diamond Dallas Page {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Triangle Ready to Rumble Cage Match}
From the eighth Slamboree. There are three cages of decreasing size stacked on top of each other, and it’s ladder match rules with the title hanging above the top cage. Arquette had tried to vacate the title before this, but Bischoff said he was punishing him by making him fight in this match. Really he was just setting up DDP to be double crossed, which honestly isn’t the worst storyline. Arquette is dressed like Elvis to let people know he was filming 3000 Miles to Graceland, which wouldn’t premier for another nine months. He was taken out early enough that you more or less forgot that this wasn’t just DDP vs. Jarrett. And you know what, this match is kind of good. Both guys bleed an appropriate amount, the match changes settings frequently enough to stay interesting, you’ve never really seen anything else like it, and the brawling is pretty damn good. Given how dangerous a fall off of a ledge would have been, Jarrett and DDP both worked a really ballsy style. The commentators, even Madden, do a good job of explaining a logical reason that Arquette would reach the top first but not go for the title, which made for a stronger moment when he turned on DDP. Jarrett grabbed the belt at 15:18. The Mike Awesome interference was totally pointless, and honestly that’s the only thing I have against this match. And then we find out why Awesome interfered; it was to set up a spot in which he throws Kanyon off the cage through the ramp after the match. What a pleasant surprise this was. ***½
May 15, 2000 – Biloxi, Mississippi
Ric Flair def. Jeff Jarrett {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match}
From Monday Nitro 243. Jarrett won the title, defended it the next night against Sting, and that was it for his reign because for the next month the title changed hands every week on Nitro and once on Thunder. Flair worked this match in street clothes, which we;ve since learned is because he was self conscious about his body at the time. The match was just a bunch of punches and Flair getting a roll up for the win at 6:19. David Flair and Jarrett attacked Flair after the match and Vince Russo tried to leave with the belt, but Kevin Nash stopped that from happening and powerbombed Jarrett through the ring. Why break the ring now? For no reason, that’s why. *½
May 22, 2000 – Grand Rapids, Michigan
Jeff Jarrett def. Kevin Nash {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match}
From Monday Nitro 244. Flair had collapsed after a match on Thunder the week before, so Russo stripped him of the title and handed it to Jarrett. Nash stole the title which earned him a title shot. I have a real bug up my butt about people being handed the title, so I’m going to review this as if it was for the vacant title. Russo was the referee. After a few minutes of decent enough wrestling (I guess), Russo maced Nash and then also Scott Steiner when he tried to make the save. A ton of security guards got involved. Nash no-sold mace. Blood poured onto Nash (who had to get into position because the blood missed him). Jarrett hit Nash with the guitar and Russo counted the pin on the floor at 4:39. This was the dumbest shit, though I give it the smallest amount of credit because the bit where Nash pinned Jarrett with his knee while choking Russo to make him count a near-fall looked cool. Had that been the finish I’d have found this forgettable instead of detestable. ¼*
May 24, 2000 – Saginaw, Michigan
Kevin Nash def. Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Triangle Match}
From Thunder 112. Russo gave Steiner and Nash a title shot because they threatened him with violence. Steiner bailed on the match because his brother Rick came out and threatened his women. This was a match in name only, as it was all Jarrett hitting Nash with a baseball bat and chair, Nash no-selling all of it, a referee getting bumped a bunch, and Steiner bringing out a new referee to count after Nash hits Jarrett with the powerbomb at 4:55. Steiner taking out Russo’s security looked like it was a cool visual, but the camera stopped showing it after one second. This company was so weird. So much happened in those five minutes but I’ll be damned if I remember any of it in two days. ½*
May 29, 2000 – Salt Lake City, Utah
Jeff Jarrett def. Ric Flair {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match}
From Monday Nitro 245. At the top of the show, Nash handed the title to Flair because there was a lot of that going around. Flair got to hold the title for less than a day, losing it back to Jarrett here. This was Jarrett’s fourth and final title reign, and when it ended he had held the title for less than two months. Flair wrestled this in ring gear, so that’s nice. Russo brought out a seemingly kidnapped Beth and Reid Flair to distract Ric during the match. Even with all that going on, the match is pretty boring. Ric’s final comeback is fun, but it lasts all of a minute before Jarrett hits him with the guitar and Russo counts the pin at 7:44. Blah. *
July 9, 2000 – Daytona Beach, Florida
Booker T def. Jeff Jarrett {WCW World Heavyweight Championship}
From the seventh Bash at the Beach. Earlier in the night they had the fake Hollywood Hogan vs. Jeff Jarrett match, wherein Jarrett took a dive for a supposedly unknowing Hogan just to get the match out of the way after Hogan allegedly refused to do the job for Jarrett. Russo reversed the decision so this match was for the title and Jarrett’s reign was uninterrupted. I tend to not believe that anything in wrestling is a shoot, so I don’t believe the current narrative that Hogan was in on everything until Russo came out later to berate and “fire” him. Even the lawsuit Hogan filed seems really suspicious, and apparently a judge agreed with me. It was fun to watch Tony Schiavone essentially give up on camera. Anyway, this match was very sterile. They did a bit of meaningless work before going out into the crowd. When they got back in the ring it was all ref bumps and weapon shots before T hit the Book End for the win at 13:41. Just nothing happening here. **
August 28, 2000 – Las Cruces, New Mexico
Kevin Nash def. Booker T {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match}
From Monday Nitro 258. Nash, Steiner, Jarrett, and Russo formed a heel group here. Jarrett was the referee, and the gimmick was that he was mad at his buddies for giving Nash the title shot instead of getting it for himself. But if you couldn’t see Jarrett turning on T a mile away then you haven’t been paying attention to how Russo works. He had to turn, you see, because T wasn’t relying on him being fair at all so the turn was completely nonsensical and free of emotional attachment. That’s how Russo roles. Jarrett hit T with a guitar and Nash hit the powerbomb for the win at 7:32. Not a single person can tell me one non-signature move that Nash or T hit on each other in this match, because the focus was entirely on Jarrett. WCW was just doing comedy sketches in lieu of matches at this point. ½*
September 17, 2000 – Buffalo, New York
Booker T def. Kevin Nash {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match}
From the eighth Fall Brawl. How is Madden this bad at being a commentator? The casual way they compare this regular cage to the Caged Heat cage, saying the only difference is size completely takes away the mystique of the larger cage. I get that this isn’t WWF and WCW doesn’t have the same reverence around Hell in a Cell, but you’re just cutting down a major stipulation and spitting on the work that someone else did for you! As for this match, it’s boring of course. Nash couldn’t be bothered to put in the effort in 2000. He did care enough to blade, but he moved around the ring like an 80-year-old man. After ten minutes that felt like an eternity, T hit the Book End for the win at 9:03. *
September 25, 2000 – Uniondale, New York
Vince Russo def. Booker T {WCW World Heavyweight Championship Caged Heat Match}
From Monday Nitro 262. Hey, good thing they talked about Caged Heat as if it were just any other cage last week. So Russo wrestles this whole thing in football pads and a helmet and you can win by escape… in a Hell in a Cell match. T selling for Russo and his baseball bat makes me so sad. This isn’t a match, but rather T’s old friends the Misfits in Action standing around and on top of the ring (along with Sting) stopping Russo from leaving. So all the odds are against the heel. Russo has to be the person who had the most influence on professional wrestling who understood it the least. The only fun part of the match is Flair dressing up like an EMT to attack Russo, but Russo couldn’t even execute that and fucked up taking the Figure 4 Leglock. In the end, Goldberg came out and speared Russo through the cage, giving him the title at 8:33. Ø
Okay, I’ll bite on this storyline. Russo vacated the title because he wasn’t a wrestler. Let’s compare this to the angle it was obviously stolen from, Vince McMahon winning the WWF title a year earlier. It is very possible that Russo came up with that storyline too. But let’s go over why one worked in helping to make Triple H a main eventer for decades while the other helped in causing WCW to lose it’s TV deal and thus stop existing. For one thing, McMahon was a babyface. He got almost no offense in during his match and only won because Triple H was such a dick that McMahon’s most hated enemy felt sorry for him and helped him embarrass the champion. McMahon gave up the title because of a previously established stipulation where he lost the right to wrestle in the WWF, and was only granted this title match because nobody thought there was a chance in hell (sorry) that he’d win, but they did think he deserved a shot at revenge on Triple H. Also, it wouldn’t serve to make Triple H look tough by beating up an old man. So what did they do instead? They had Triple H beat four other main event wrestlers and the British Bulldog (sorry) to look like an extreme tough guy. Who gets over here? Triple H looks like a monster and Austin is made into a bigger babyface by helping someone he hates because he recognizes McMahon’s humanity.
In WCW, Russo is the heel, is in far worse physical shape than McMahon, and he dominated like half of the match over the actual wrestler champion T. He won because Goldberg was a dummy. He vacates the title because “he’s not a wrestler,” which is just lazy. As the heel, it does help T and the fans get catharsis if they get a chance to see him beat up Russo and take the title back. Better still, have T wrestle Russo, Jarrett, and Steiner in a handicap match to get the title back. But nope, instead they do what we see below. Who was supposed to get over in that scenario? The new wrestler champion who can’t beat an out of shape writer? The monster former champion who is too stupid to know how to hurt Russo without handing him the title? Nope, nobody got over and the company died six months later.
A quick note on my rating. When I started reviewing wrestling again in 2018 after taking years off from it, I decided it didn’t make sense to give a DUD or zero-star rating. All wrestling matches have some kind of effort put into them, and the nature of wrestling is dangerous. I felt it important to never outright ignore that. But twice while reviewing these WCW title changes, I’ve given a Ø rating because there just seemed to be no regard at all for the audience. If you don’t care about your audience, stop making a product for audiences.
October 2, 2000 – San Francisco, California
Booker T def. Jeff Jarrett {WCW World Heavyweight Championship 49ers Match}
From Monday Nitro 263. T and Jarrett won a wacky tag match earlier in the night to earn the right to fight for the vacant title against each other. During T’s entrance, Madden confuses the names of two black women. What a class act, that guy. This is a four boxes on poles match (49ers, gold rush, but in San Francisco… get it? Ugh). Each box has something in it, one of them being the title. One has a blow up doll in it. Isn’t that funny? Kota Ibushi became a wrestling fan by watching this match probably. The second box has a picture of Scott Hall in it. Why? The third box has a coal miner’s glove in it, which is at least a nice reference to wrestling’s past. In an unintentionally hilarious moment, Jarrett puts T in a sleeper hold and the referee checks to see if T is out. That on its own isn’t funny, but then Scott Hudson starts complaining on commentary about how it doesn’t make any sense in a match where you can only win by opening the box with the title in it. T does just that at 13:01. I’m not even going to touch on Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern Show being involved in the finish. *½
I complained enough about Russo’s (and to a less infamous extent, Biscoff’s) disastrous run above, so I’ll just leave you with this: During Russo’s second tenure as head writer, not one person held the title for more than 50 days. As soon as he left, Scott Steiner got a normal run with the title, and held it until WCW’s final Nitro. A look at that and the post-WCW life for the title in the next and final part.